Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks
Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks.
It's believed Theresa May made...
Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party
Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic
UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...
Loud booing interrupted by Boris Johnson speech
Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today were left...
New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding
The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester.
Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...
We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...
Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces.
Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
EU condemns punchy politics
After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour.
Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...
Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour
News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Chequers agreement shreds itself
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday.
"I popped out...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
