Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.
In a...
Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...
Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20.
Similar riots took place...
Gap between rich and poor not an issue say rich bastards
The massive gap between the poorest peoples' lot and the vomit-inducing wealth of the world's richest isn't really important, insist representatives for the world's...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.
Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...
In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
