Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...
Boris Johnson

Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...

1
Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg descended from German immigrants genieologists confirm

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Plans by eccentric far right conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg to be elected leader of the Conservative party have been delivered a body blow as...

Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair

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A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
Farage

Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal

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Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

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Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test

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Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.  A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

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The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

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Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...

SNP Manifesto just bootleg copy of Braveheart and sheet of paper saying Referendums

The long awaited SNP manifesto is released today to huge anticipation.
Houses of Parliament

Lib Dems table bill to give each Leave voter bendy banana and note saying...

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MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo...
Wetherspoons

Move classrooms into pubs, says government

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After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

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To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...

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