Titanic

Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’

0
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

0
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

87
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
David Davis

Davis to seek pinky promise with Barnier over customs arrangements post Brexit

0
David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel...

Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK

0
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit. Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...

George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti

16
Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

2
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...

Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal

5
The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

5
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

0
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince

0
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

0
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

0
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

6
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

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