NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

3
A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

0
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

9
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

Britain First unsure what comes Second

0
Britain First members were baffled this week when asked the unintentional riddle: “If Britain's first, what’s second?” The question came from Billy Michaels, a seven...

OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?

0
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

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Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

3
Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

0
The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Umunna

Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat

0
Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...

Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...

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Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

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Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...
Theresa May

Theresa May confirms Brisrael means Brisrael

4
Theresa May today confirmed that "Brisrael means Brisrael" when asked about the Israeli Embassy's interventions to promote or destroy the careers of British MPs. "Look,...

Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

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Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Momentum release Labour leader themed children’s book ‘Where’s Corbyn?’

6
Children of the proletariat were delighted at the news today that Momentum are publishing a series of exciting Labour leader themed children's books. The first...

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