Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off

6
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity. It's believed...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

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Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

0
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.

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The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

2
Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

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Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

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Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

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As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

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The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
Trump

Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters

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Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...

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