Noel Edmunds

Noel Edmunds to head up Brexit negotiations armed with 28 red boxes

13
Failed entertainer and minister for Brexit, David Davis, will take centre stage in a Deal or No Deal special to be aired on Dave...
Boris Johnson

Loathsome Tory bastard calls for end to public sector pay cap

12
Boris Johnson has taken the lead in the call to end the public sector pay cap in response to the clear mandate delivered by...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

0
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...

World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling

0
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.  The current record was set in...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

0
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...

Media blackout of J***** C***** continues

0
All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we...
Theresa May

Maggie May announces snap election

0
Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. "Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

9
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...

Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity

0
Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...

Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”

0
Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.

Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document

0
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

0
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Theresa May

Theresa May confirms Brisrael means Brisrael

4
Theresa May today confirmed that "Brisrael means Brisrael" when asked about the Israeli Embassy's interventions to promote or destroy the careers of British MPs. "Look,...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

0
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...

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