Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

27
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
unhappy man

Google crashes as 17.4m people Google Parliamentary Democracy

1
Internet search engine Google has been brought to a standstill as a reported 17.4m people searched for the phrase "Parliamentary Democracy" this morning. The Daily...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

0
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...
Westminster

Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament

0
As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...
football referees

Football referees warned not to go against the will of the people

0
Following criticism of High Court Judges 'interfering' in the Brexit process, the Football Association have decided to get rid of football referees. "We don't need...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

0
The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

0
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...

I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger

4
What’s your favourite type of monger? Picture him: Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

0
Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

3
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

0
MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...

Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal

0
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

0
With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...
Theresa May

Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box

5
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box. The box, made...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

0
A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

0
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...

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