David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas
A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...
Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet
Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.
It comes after a series...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
Tommy Robinson claims full English ruined by brown sauce
Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. ...
52% support euthanasia bill
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...
Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything.
Clueless commie...
Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself
UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result.
A staggering...
Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
