A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
50 Shades of Grey author denies responsibility for Tory surge
The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire...
Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters
Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...
Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister
Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister.
Speaking through an interpreter she...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS.
The order was placed...
Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...
A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land
At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...
We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond
Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit
The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit.
No really.
The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people.
That's not even satire.
What the...
