Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

6
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn counterfeit poppy scandal

0
There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.
Pepe the frog

Meme Jihadis Trump Clinton

0
Pepe the frog has admitted today that he was behind the success of Donald Trump in the recent US presidential elections. "Presidential? Fix-a-dential more like!...
Michael Gove

We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels

0
Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.

Corbyn says it’s the pits for May

5
Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

2
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

0
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

0
Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

0
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

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Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...

Happy Christmas to our Sovereign Parliament and readers

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On behalf of the Daily Mail, we would like to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas. Or if they don't celebrate Christmas,...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

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Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...

Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less

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In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less. Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...

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