Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

0
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg descended from German immigrants genieologists confirm

0
Plans by eccentric far right conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg to be elected leader of the Conservative party have been delivered a body blow as...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn counterfeit poppy scandal

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There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

0
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

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Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

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Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Theresa May

Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists

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Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today. Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

20
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Rats

Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation

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Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively. The...
Hide an Seek

Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy

3
Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition. "It was an incredible effort from...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

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Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...

Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

11
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

89
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...

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