Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
Move classrooms into pubs, says government
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Farage in critical condition after fall at a supporters meeting
Nigel Farage is in hospital today after coming to the defence of ludicrously abhorrent comments made about women by Donald Trump.
Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description
Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister.
"Don't...
Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...
After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her.
In...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament
Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell. £118 million has been...
Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were...
Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
