Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

3
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

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Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...

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Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Theresa May

One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May

6
Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

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Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

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President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...
Pot calling kettle black

Daily Mail accuses BBC of not being impartial on Brexit

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The Daily Mail has accused the BBC of ignoring all the positive benefits Brexit has brought. In an editorial, the paper says that the BBC...

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

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Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

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The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

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The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle

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In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

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Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...

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