UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

0
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

6
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...

1
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a...

Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour

0
News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull 

0
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...

Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

0
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...

Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”

0
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".

Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird

0
Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

1
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

0
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

8
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

5
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

8
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...

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