Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

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The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...

US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.

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Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.  Rather than trying...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...

Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position

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As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit. So we...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

19
Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

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In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

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Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

2
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge

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Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...

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