Farage told get in the sea, takes it literally
Serial resigner and privately educated millionaire ex banker, Nigel Farage, self proclaimed 'man of the people' was told to "get in the sea" by...
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility
Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...
Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...
A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Liberal Democrats secure vital Rastafarian vote
The Liberal Democrats' General Election campaign took a huge step forward this morning after they secured the vital UK Rastafarian vote.
Government exempts itself from report on racism
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer
Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats
Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...
