Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner’s Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy Corbyn today suggested that he welcomed Theresa May’s call for cross-party unity and ideas. 

“How about re-opening the pits for starters,” JC told The Rochdale Herald.

He said he has been coming to the Durham Gala for years but that he hadn’t a clue as to why they called it the Miner’s Gala, since there were no miners left after the Tory scum closed all the pits.

The Labour leader said re-opening the pits could help to close down the continuing debate about university tuition fees.

“If we could get our children to forget about going to poncy universities and get them back down the pits it would solve a lot of problems,” he said

He said it would mean more jobs in the coal industry and the National Health Service.      “More miners means more lung disease and therefore the need for more doctors and nurses. It’s the way a healthy economy works.”

Mr. Corbyn said mining more great British Coal would also be good for the environment.     “If we are going to clear the air in our cities and the rest of the country by using electric cars, then we are going to need more power plants to provide the electricity to charge the cars. Coal-fired power plants are the cheapest to build…job done.”

“And, after Brexit, we could sell our coal to countries that haven’t signed up to the climate change agreement. Brilliant innit?”