Politics

Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. Eating a traditional Full English breakfast near the scene of...

The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to sack Boris Johnson. Although the address of the prime minister is...

A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that he isn’t welcome in the building. The steaming piece of feculence...

Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar. Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he asked us to lend him our ears, and explained, “I...

Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message, he urged Tories to get behind May, presumably to make...

FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are in front of them". In a WhatsApp message he urged...

A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the Islas Malvinas, if that will help Theresa May stay prime...

The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she bought on eBay from a student that never put it...

Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations. The Prime Minister will require the support of two-thirds of MPs to go to the country, with...

Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in the week as the letter F was seen to literally...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the Rochdale Herald. Following a heated meeting on Sunday at Mad O'Rourke's...

The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been working together for over twenty years, are celebrating their biggest...

The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change at until Brexit negotiations have concluded. The move comes following complaints...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to Jeremy's vision. We each believe passionately in socialism. We've even...