Brexit

Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the announcement at 1.30pm today as she stuffed £1.5Bn in used...

Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a woman, it's...

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just like a Jersey Royal potato. The move to safeguard Mr Johnson’s...

It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win. Cliff Edge told...

This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England and Germany has thrown the progress of Brexit into doubt. Gareth...

Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We took a wide range of volunteer families from different classes,...

It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.

Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier was taking, British diplomats and Jeremy Hunt have finally succeeded...

David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the lab immediately escaped or just f*cking died. The shock reaction to...

The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s representatives are of the current Tory government, who are famously...

Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day Britain leaves the EU. The call from a leading Brexiter and...

UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of statistics. Head of the watchdog Mr Norse Code is said to...

Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a fork, to work out what to do with them, but...

Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European Union will die after the Brexit negotiations are concluded. They are...