Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

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Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded...
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

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One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

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Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

11
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
Old Graduate

University of life grads outraged over EU threats of further education

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Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

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Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
Blue Passport

Passports to be made in France as British firm De La Rue ruled out...

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Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...

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