Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...
Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Rochdale entrepreneur fails to set up free trade agreement with Burnley
Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley.
The...
May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters
The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals
As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
