Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

0
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

0
Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

4
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
man with money

Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced

0
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...

David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...

0
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

0
Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

0
As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

0
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

87
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

0
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

9
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster

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After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

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