Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling
The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...
A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal.
Johnson told the...
We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.
A hastily formed government led by...
Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue
The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...
EU promises Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue nationals from UK “BREXKRIEG”
The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
