OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility
Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...
Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti
It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...
Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House
Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.
Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box.
The box, made...
Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...
