Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool

1
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...

Anarchists angered at police refusal to follow rules

22
A group of Rochdale anarchists have been telling the Herald about the treatment they received at the hands of the German police at the...
Hide an Seek

Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy

3
Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition. "It was an incredible effort from...

Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike

0
The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

0
The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...

0
Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...

Davis defends sub Euro pound

0
Minister for Brexiteers, David Davis, has reported that people only getting 90 cents to the Pound is proof that everything is going well...

Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

0
Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

0
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...

Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair

0
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Arlene Foster

Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal

6
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
Hippies Hippy

Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak

0
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Iceberg

Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership

5
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU. A hastily formed government led by...

Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge

0
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...

Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General

0
Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.

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