NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

3
A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton

4
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

0
The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...

Jimmy Young “Masterminded Thatcherism” says Released Documents

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In documents now only released after his death Jimmy Young has been revealed as the Mastermind behind the social & economic policies of Margaret Thatcher.

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

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Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

Leaked Conservative manifesto just 5 pages of “lets get Brexit done” written in Russian

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With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked...

Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’

3
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'. Despite the word meaning someone who is...
Foodbank

Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars

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The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

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Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...

Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous

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The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...

Tony Blair on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize

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Former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton "Tony" Blair has been spotted on this year's Nobel Peace Prize shortlist. Famous for his support of fun loving...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

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Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...
corbyn

Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party

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The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party. Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

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Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...

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