Rats

Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation

0
Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively. The...
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

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Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

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After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

0
After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...
terrorists

DUP refuse deal with Theresa May saying we don’t negotiate with terrorists

4
Arlene Foster has returned to Belfast after failing to agree a power sharing deal with Theresa May saying she won't negotiate with terrorists. The key...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

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A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
Nice Nurse Senior Patient

Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...

5
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’

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Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...

Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
David Davis U-turn

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

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Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene...
Shrugging Man

Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government

2
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
Guy Fawkes

Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime

8
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

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Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...

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