Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

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After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Theresa May Converse

Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...

Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry

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Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
Boris Johnson

Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone

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The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...
Theresa May

Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM

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There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me? “When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday. “Maybe it was that Lord...
Inflation

Diversify portfolio to survive inflation Tories tell poor

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As news of inflation fears hits the headlines this week with pundits telling us that inflation will hit food prices the hardest the government has issued advice for the poor on how to survive inflation.

Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

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News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he...
Trump

Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters

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Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...
Angry Man Shouting

Britain declares national state of Armagammon

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An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...

Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.  Sir Humphrey:...

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

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The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

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In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...

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