MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North
Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide.
For many in the current government, the...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...
New Far Right Perfume Released.
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”
A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
No Government is Better than a Bad Government, says May
Theresa May made the announcement after exit polls suggest that no single party will be able to form a government. "Let me be very...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...
Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today.
A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster
After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...
Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit.
The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...
