Theresa May

May To Wheel Out Trebuchet

0
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf". The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...

Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti

4
It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...

If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker

0
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.

May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle

0
Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

0
Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

1
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...

Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch

0
Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council

8
Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week. The council's...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

0
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

0
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

0
Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...
Houses of Parliament

Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs

0
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

0
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts