IT department confirms that turning Maybot off and on again didn’t work

0
The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again. Nigel...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

11
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...

Jeremy Corbyn rules out coalition with Labour MPs

0
Jeremy Corbyn took the bold move today to rule out a coalition with SNP, The Greens, The Liberal Democrats and any of the politicians in The Labour Party. Talking to...

Loud booing interrupted by Boris Johnson speech

0
Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today were left...
Donald Trump Jnr

Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr

2
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

0
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work

50
The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness. In...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

0
Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...

Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.

0
The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus. Having been tested for Coronavirus on...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

0
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

0
The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

0
Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...
Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

0
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...

Jeremy Corbyn to cross floor to lead the Conservative Party

6
Written off as a hopeless loser, terrorist supporter and left-wing extremist at the start of last week's general election campaign, Jeremy Corbyn has risen...

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