Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

0
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

0
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

50
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

0
The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
Trump

Definitely No Corruption at polls

0
Donald Trump has made a statement after his victory at the polls that he categorically believes there is no way there was any corruption...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

0
British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

0
As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...
Sean Spicer

White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials

10
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of  denials denying denials. "We knew about Mr Trump's links to...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

0
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

22
Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

0
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Postman

Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’

0
Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...

Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name

0
The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

0
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

0
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

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