DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work

50
The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness. In...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

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Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

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Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.

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Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
unhappy man

Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer

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A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
Riot Police

Anarchists admit riot police look pretty cool despite differences

2
Dave Vidual, Head Chair of the National Association of Anarchists, said yesterday in a shockingly frank admission that most anarchists, while diametrically opposed to...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

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The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency

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After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency. Speaking to disappointed...

David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed

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A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...

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