Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home
The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...
Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Satirists face existential crisis
Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy.
"How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's...
Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...
EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work
The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness.
In...
Radio 2 announces replacement of all Christmas songs with Call to Prayer to avoid...
If you want any chance of hearing any of your favourite Christmas tunes, then you better tune in to this week.
Radio 2 has today...
Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke
Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke.
“Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....
Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Rochdale Cowboy killed in cow heel fight while raiding vape store.
The notorious Rochdale Cowboy reached the end of the line yesterday when he and the rest of his 'Hole in the road' gang were...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting
The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...
New dress code requires MPs to wear oven gloves in Parliament at all times
The UK Parliament's Committee on Standards has announced plans to require all male MPs to wear oven gloves whenever they attend the building.
The Committee...
The Shard ‘nearly finished’
The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers.
Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...
David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed
A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's...
Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up
After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...
