Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...
Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...
Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand
Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it.
A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....
Anagramologists discover Conservatives is an anagram of voters cave in
Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories.
"Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained...
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise
British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service.
"We can do this." He...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena
Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear.
At a...
Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+.
A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album.
The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance
Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life
It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
