Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...

Daily Mail editor bites head off puppy for a dare

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Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...
Big Ben EU UK

Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...

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Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

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The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us". The...
Venus Williams

Venus Williams says most recent car insurance quote inspired her Wimbledon run

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Venus Williams has revealed that she was inspired to her Wimbledon final appearance by her most recent car insurance quote. Speaking after finishing runner up,...
Angry Woman

If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...

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Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub...

NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus

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A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that the existence...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

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After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

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As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...

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Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

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The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Fauxtrage

Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity

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A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.

Meat Loaf isn’t dead

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Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...

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