You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express

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Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto. “Sounds...

Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

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The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

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There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician

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Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...

UKIP cancel party conference musical chairs event

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UKIP have announced that the musical chairs event that was to be held at their summer conference has been cancelled. The event at the Travelodge Nuneaton...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

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Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Forcados

Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull

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A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...

Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet

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In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
Old Graduate

University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles

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The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

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Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...

NEWS FLASH – Mo Farah out of 10,000 Metres

On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running. Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the...

Ben Stokes argues fighting in street a necessary part of training to tour Australia.

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All-rounder and England vice-captain Ben Stokes may have put his part in England's ashes tour in jeopardy following his arrest in the early hours...
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...

Goebbels didn’t like satire either – satirists tell Zuckerberg

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As the entire world struggles to unravel themselves from their twisted knickers following the surprise election of a sexist satsuma to the Whitehouse satirists have come under fire from Google and Facebook for writing fake news, otherwise known as fiction.
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

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In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It...

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