ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours
Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast
The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...
Basil Brush on the defensive as police release CCTV image of ‘Croydon Cat Killer’
Television celebrity Basil Brush has been forced to reject allegations that he is responsible for the gruesome deaths of over 400 cats across London and the...
Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
Man beaten white and gold by the Police
We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable.
What follows is some made...
EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...
Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof
A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Judgemental twat who starts every opinion with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ definitely is...
A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Its not Lupus.
Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
