Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Liam Fox

Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary

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Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

7
Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

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Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...

Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

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The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

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The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

6
Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...
Teletubbies

Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character

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Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

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The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

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Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...
Houses of Parliament

Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs

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Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food

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It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.

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