Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

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This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...
British Homeopath

Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...

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Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

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Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...

Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

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Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...

British man understands American football

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A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football. With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or...

Government insists food banks rebrand as Universal Credit Bistros

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Today, at a press conference in the champagne bar of the Astor club in Pall Mall, David Gauke, the work and pensions secretary no...

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been...

Nobel Prize winning Physicist trying to delete U2’s album from iTunes

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

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Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...

UK’s employers terrified workers will stop working through their lunch hour if houses become...

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Concerns have been expressed today by the United Kingdom’s biggest employers that a house price crash will lead to a deepening of the productivity...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

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Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...

Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin

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It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...

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