Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop
In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation
News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee.
It is thought he...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe
The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show.
In the...
University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles
The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan
Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist.
They're going to let...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointments
Two new appointments have been made to the cabinet of President-Elect Donald Trump.
"Although I know that I will be technically the Commander-In-Chief, people will...
Twitter Definitely Closing Down Next Year
Rumours that Twitter is to close for good in 2019 were confirmed today by some random user.
"I kno sm1 on inside. #Twitter defo closing...
Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...
Revelation as Mercury rises for blue plaque
Freddie Mercury, lead singer of rock sensations Queen, has been commemorated with a blue plaque at his former family home in Feltham.
However, in a...
Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before
After speculation in recent months that the next...
