Stranger Things shit declares post millennial generation
Self obsessed cockwomble, Sebastian Tristrum, 14, said "It's crap. I put down my iPhone for a bit and tried to watch it but nothing...
Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD
To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently...
Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...
One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...
Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving.
One local, Anni...
Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles.
“My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
Getting from Leeds to Manchester 15 minutes quicker is top priority, says leader of...
The leader of a country full of hungry and homeless children has pledged to deploy all possible resources to shortening commuting times between Leeds...
Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book
The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.
As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off
Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload...
Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year
As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration.
In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
