Doctor

Veganism can be cured claim scientists

Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

9
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

0
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

6
Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

1
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

0
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday. Officials said "that...

Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy

0
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource". A spokesperson for Mr...
Toys R Us

Toys ‘R’ Us to rebrand as Sex Toys ‘R’ Us to avoid looming bankruptcy

0
The giant toy retailer has recently filed for bankruptcy protection in the US and Cananda after massive losses to rivals such as Amazon and...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...
Man Washing Machine

Southern Rail whistleblower reveals driving a train ‘piece of piss’ compared to programming washer-dryer.

1
Following the furore over Philip Hammond's comments over female train drivers, The Rochdale Herald has been contacted by an employee of Southern Rail who...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

1
Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

0
The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...

0
Pray together, lay together Scottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations. This...
Arlene Foster

Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal

6
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

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Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

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