Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Milk Tray man jailed for breaking and entering
A former chocolate delivery man broke into dozens of women’s homes over a 50 year period leaving unwanted chocolates and creepy handwritten notes.
Gary Myers, 76...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age
Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
Argentina demand the return of Love Island
Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of...
Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you
The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all.
After the the shock death...
21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name
“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial
"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."
Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary
Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...
Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam
Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that
he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali.
"I never...
Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies.
Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
