Ross and Rachel

Beer thieving ‘Ross’ looklike sentenced to watch every single episode of ‘Friends’.

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A shoplifting, David Schwimmer look-a-like has been sentenced to watch every single episode of 'Friends' in one sitting, including 'The One Where They Were...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

Woman dismayed by number of volunteers after threatening Facebook cull

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A Rochdale woman today described feeling 'shocked and disappointed' by the number of people who volunteered to be removed from her friends list after...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

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Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

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NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Waterstones

Waterstones moves post-apocalyptic fiction to current affairs section

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In a statement today, popular British high street book retailer Waterstones announced all books with post-apocalyptic themes will be moved to the current affairs...

Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

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The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...

Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts

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The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...

Last man smart enough to figure out how to set clock on Microwave dies...

The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74. The man, an astrophysicist...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...
Burkina

Outrage as women flout Burkini ban on Rochdale beach

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Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members...

Sir Philip Green in Robin Hood Shocker

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Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the' worst sort...

Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs

The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be: "It's...
Christmas Presents

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...

Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?

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Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...

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