Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool
Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is pregnant!
Possibly...
The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl,...
85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective
Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective.
Eric Pode (40),...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run
10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle.
It's...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream
After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...
BBC bans racist song White Christmas
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned.
Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat
Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...
Clive Dunn in Nazi uniform outrage
Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform.
The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and...
Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...
People urged to buy nuclear submarines to boost jobs in Barrow
People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness.
The call comes on...
Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track
In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
It’s not my fault there aren’t enough Marxists to win a by election insists...
Following Labour's disastrous defeat in The Copeland by-election Jeremy Corbyn has responded to criticisms of his leadership of The Labour Party by assuring everybody it has nothing to do with his politics or his leadership.
