Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money
Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money.
The report said...
Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...
Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...
That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids
A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils.
St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run
10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle.
It's...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Rochdale man who can’t explain what his job is tells people he’s a drug...
A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just...
Prime Minister not taking donations from millionaires for granted
The Tory spin doctors are especially busy this morning on the nation's airwaves ensuring everybody they are not taking yesterday's electoral results as a...
Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box
The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.
No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...
Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers
In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this...
England football team looking forward to appearing in final of Celebrity Masterchef
The English football team have confirmed that they're really looking forward to appearing on Celebrity Masterchef next week.
Gareth Southgate said, "Our preparations are going...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
