Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!
There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...
Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in the UK?
Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK.
Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...
The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...
Zuckerberg assures Facebook have absolutely no information about your STD
It's a sore subject that can become inflamed easily but there's an itch that needs to be scratched.
In the wake of the fall out...
Rochdale Murderer Caught
There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...
Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”
In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.
The...
Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...
Donald Trump’s Golf Partner Outraged at Sexist Muirfield
Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of...
Gavin Williamson declares war on schools
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary.
His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
