Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...
Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Boris Johnson confirmed to star in remake of Bill and Ben
Odd hairstyle, dependent upon Weed, strange manner of attire, frankly incomprehensible language - and you can see who's pulling the strings.
Boris Johnson was born to...
Huddersfield Town veterans prepared for step up in pace
Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion.
“I took some advice about staying fit for...
Don’t mention the VAR, Germany defeated in Russia, again
Football fans worldwide embrace each other in collective schadenfreude
In their smart new uniforms designed by Hugo Boss, Germany's topsporters had been confident of a...
Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale
Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the...
Facebook adds ‘I am drunk button’
Facebook has added an "I am drunk" button to the award winning range of useful buttons on your profile page.
The button will immediately quarantine...
Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’
Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...
Beleavers still think they’re in with a chance of another Referendum
Since June 23 Brexiters led by an enraged Nigel Farage haven't stopped moaning about the majority vote for Britain to remain in EU.
"I don't...
Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs
Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end...
Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears
It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit.
POTUS was invited to meet...
UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history
UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.
He recently had to...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...
Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
