Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”

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Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

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Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...

Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport

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Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned. Following the UK government's announcement...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...

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The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government. "He has to be gripped...

X distances itself from factor

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For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Farage

Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal

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Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.

Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub

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After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

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The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

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Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...

Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun

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The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.

Scientists name new species of pot-bellied pig after Paul Golding

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Hot on the heels of naming a new species of shrimp after wall breaking rockers Pink Floyd, zoologists have named a newly discovered sub-species...

Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street

UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory. After visiting Her...

Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run

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10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle. It's...

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