Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions
The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...
Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout
Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition.
Each...
Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track
In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes
Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...
UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website
The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site.
Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...
Manilow ditches piano for oboe
In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe.
Manilow said...
Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
Message from aliens intercepted.
Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials.
The message was received encoded in modulations...
Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse
Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
Theresa May unable to un-grit her teeth after assuring Boris that he can keep...
Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon.
Whilst seen as a potential...
Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...
Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones.
"Lord of the Rings is densely written,...
