Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat."
Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’
A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Corbyn says it’s the pits for May
Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...
David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
UKIP pledge to bring back 70’s style pubic hair
UKIP have pledged to restore pubic hair to levels not seen since the 1970's, in a move they hope will secure the allegiance of...
Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.
Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...
Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service
Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
Theresa May reveals plans for future funding cuts.
Theresa May faced the press this week in a hope to clarify future government spending. In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald she...
Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live
The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need...
Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun
“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.
Linkin Park’s poignant question answered
The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and
people might not like the answer.
According to scientists, who have been...
