La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’
La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...
Unmasked – The Real Jack the Ripper
The question of the identity of the serial killer known as ‘The Whitechapel Murderer’, ‘Leather Apron’ or, most famously Jack the Ripper has been...
Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit
Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham.
Millions of original witsters...
Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run
10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle.
It's...
Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry
Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...
Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice
It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why.
U2 played Berlin last night and...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Sheffield narcissist guilty of grooming himself on social media
A late middle-aged man from Sheffield has been found guilty of grooming himself on Facebook in what is believed to be the first case...
Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners
Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying...
Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation
There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today.
A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...
PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
