Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding
Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat
82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Special D-Day edition of Daily Mail includes special pull out of it supporting fascism...
The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to a time...
Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish
Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist
Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive.
Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...
Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered
With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them.
Will Coronavirus be as...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Sun to be sold in paper bag
The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today.
“From...
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
