Local scientist proves no link between Marmite and racism

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

3
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...
Wetherspoons

Brexit Party Manifesto a Wetherspoon’s menu with curry crossed out with crayon

The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.  To much fanfare the document has been revealed to...
Ferrero Roche

Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’

0
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

11
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
Meeting

We need another meeting to discuss this meeting

25
The Rochdale Global Enterprises' operations and functions sub-committee concluded yesterday that a further meeting was needed before its next meeting on Tuesday week. The RGEOFSC...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

0
The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle

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Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

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It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet...

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

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Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

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Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...

Love Island Special – John Terry sacks Agent after he asked to join “that...

15
John Terry, the legendary back door man and occasional footballer, has sacked his Agent after finding himself trapped in a 1 year contract at...
Kings Cross Commuters

Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs

0
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs...

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