Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

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Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

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ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known...

OED to honour Nigel Farage with his own word – A farage

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Following the failure of a parliamentary motion to ennoble seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a peerage or a knighthood, the Oxford English...

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...

Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?

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Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.
Wayne Rooney

Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’

6
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...

Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods

27
The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...

The Shard ‘nearly finished’

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The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...

Olympics cancelled. To be replaced by international Fortnite tournament.

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Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.  The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald...

Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.

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A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

18
Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded...

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