Other News

A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week finally found success in the downstairs loo. Findley Leigh-Pseudonym, a newspaper...

Health experts for the Daily Mail have revealed new evidence that travelling on Virgin trains causes cancer. Daily Mail columnist, Biff Wellington told us, "We've looked at the data and there's a definite link. A...

A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known in the country. Stan Dupp, a recruiment consultant from Harrogate, was...

The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again. Nigel Prism-Fidget, head of IT for Conservative Party Central Office, confirmed...

A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to the Rochdale Herald about the results. "The number of epic fools...

MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member released a furious statement earlier today in an attempt to...

Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the only good thing coming from up North is the HS2...

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would eat her babies if she had any in an attempt...

Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects the important things in my father's life and reflect his...

Theresa May's eagerly anticipated cabinet reshuffle has begun. In what some would describe as "a bit of a surprise", the former Mayor of London and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson will replace Jeremy Hunt as Health...

A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes. Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to strike, of course I do, I just wish they'd do...

Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the Prime Minister Theresa May outside St Andrew's Church in Sonning,in...

Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike. "I knew my train had been cancelled an hour beforehand, " Said Mary...

A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four hours on Saturday night. Mr Anthony Tonin from Milnrow told the...

Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house for the first time. The show, available ad nauseam on Channel...

The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017. The 2016 figure of ZERO deaths has suffered a million per...