Essex – A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the Prime Minister Theresa May outside St Andrew’s Church in Sonning,in the Prime Minister’s constituency.
The unnamed dog was pictured in Monday’s Times newspaper, tail dipped and looking anxiously for an escape route as the Prime Minister bent down to slip her hands near the dog’s neck.
Churchgoers swore they heard the dog mutter the words “oh shit, I’m buggered,” as the paparazzi snapped hundreds of photos of the brief encounter.
The dog’s owners, who wish to remain anonymous, took the shaken animal immediately to a luxurious kennel complex near their Essex home.
“We thought he needed a safe, secure place away from the public spotlight after such a terrifying ordeal,”. They said.
“Given that this is Mrs.May’s patch, even the dogs know that everything the Prime Minister touches soon goes to Hell in a handcart,” said one bystander.
“Poor thing was probably sat in front of the fire watching May’s conference speech when even the set fell apart,” said another.
It was reported that the dog had to be carried away from the scene and across the road, such was it’s fear of being hit by a bus.
The black and white collie is expected to make a full recovery: the same cannot be said of the true blue Mrs.May.