Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

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There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...

Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”

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UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...

Victory for disability campaigners as Broccoli family confirm next Bond will be paraplegic

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The next James Bond will be played by a paraplegic actor, Eon Productions has announced. Auditions for Daniel Craig’s replacement will begin in the summer...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

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The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...

Blair to build fantasy superhero based theme park Blair World in central London

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Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

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Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

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The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas

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Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football. Rooney explained, "I've been all...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

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‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
Man holding a gun

Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen

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Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...

Ann Widdecombe suspended over Strictly sex abuse claims

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Privy Councillor and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe has been suspended from the Conservative Party after shocking claims of historical abuse and inappropriate conduct...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

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