Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters trying to stay alive following a zombie apocalypse....
Rosie and Jim

Rosie and Jim Seized in Immigration Raid

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News is emerging that 1990's TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European Convention on Human Rights. The TV stars, real names Bratislav...

Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble - this includes Something Special, a programme with millions of...

BBC bans racist song White Christmas

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The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned. Spokeswoman for the perpetually offender, Rita Right-on told us, "When you analyse the lyrics...
Ramones

Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members

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The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no longer relevant t-shirt of a long dead punk group managed...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the...
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".
Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home

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The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is unknown but locals believe he was beaten to death due...

Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor

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In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new advisor on the...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

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In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka 'The Hairy Cornflake') has been approached by the president-soon-to-be's office...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

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Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have described as "exhilarating", "majestic” and “inexplicably arousing”, the wildlife gurus...

A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special' Advisor to the Prime Minister wherever the fuck he wants...

Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs

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Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a strange abandoned space ship. Prospectors Russ and Anne Jordan made the...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

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Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen”. The single will also a feature...

Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit

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A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party. Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after a chance meeting with Jim Nasium, a noted Vegan nutritionist...

Tom Daley admits pissing in pool

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Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed to urinating in the diving pool in Rio. The much talked...

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