Other News

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of Rochdale Community University under lead scientist Professor Duane Dibbley, carried...

President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who...

During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed. "It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who attended the show. "Usually when she falls over I'm in...

The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not, a 33-year-old North Korean doctor with a gun to his...

The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award is great news. Cropping those black kids out of that...

POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser M.D. has been appointed. In a 5 hour rambling announcement POTATUS...

There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters trying to stay alive following a zombie apocalypse. Each week...

The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according to a Government source. Following a disastrous general election for the...

A top Agricultural scientist at Cambridge University has revealed that potatoes cannot grow behind or even in a persons earlobe. This shock news comes after hundreds of years of false lies, spread by Mothers,...

The United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will be confiscating all copies of George Orwell’s novel 1984 and burning all copies of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, as part of the Trump administration’s request.  According to the administration, local...

Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early hours of this morning. Despite explaining that "leave" means "get out"...

Apologies for the error in this morning's post wherein we referred to the reinstating of 'Hulture Secretary Jeremy Cunt'. This was a typographical error, and should of course have read 'Health Secretary Jeremy Cunt'....

Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people stood next to each other with their devices held aloft...

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the globe members of the public have been asked to only...

Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre Guantanamo Bay. A spokesman for Guantanamo told us today that they...

Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic' passports in a colour of their choice. Just over 51% of...