Token female cycling club member thrilled to have been described as attractive

0
A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

0
Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...
Women research team at Rochdale's Community University

Women ‘Not Silly’ groundbreaking study reveals

Women may not be as silly as we first thought, a new study suggests. Researchers at the Rochdale's Community University observed one hundred female humans...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

61
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...

Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED

0
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

0
Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people...

Special D-Day edition of Daily Mail includes special pull out of it supporting fascism...

0
The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to a time...
Southern Rail

After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England

16
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Ryanair

Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage

75
Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said...
England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

0
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

0
Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...

Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’

0
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

0
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

0
A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside...

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