Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Climate crisis totally worth it if it stops Coldplay touring, says Greta Thunberg
Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to help save...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...
Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Rosie and Jim Seized in Immigration Raid
News is emerging that 1990's TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European...
DFS sale finally over
After 51 years, the DFS sale has finally come to an end.
With the news from Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the UK has effectively...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones
Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones.
Over a hundred thousand people...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male.
In a display that witnesses have...
Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...



















































