A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Rosie and Jim Seized in Immigration Raid
News is emerging that 1990's TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European...
University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
Man kills woman
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman
This article...
OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
Corbyn criticised over links to NWA
Controversial Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been heavily criticised for his links to rap group NWA. A picture of Jeremy "terrorists are my mates" Corbyn sipping gin and juice with rapper Easy E has been largely shared across social media.
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax
Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
