MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.
The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done."
"We've been...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Viewers hail best X Factor episode in years as sound fails
X Factor viewers are hailing last nights episode of The X Factor, the greatest episode ever after the sound failed.
The still inexplicably popular show, featuring people sucking...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot
The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie
Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken...
Cliff and Keith “devastated” following death of their brother Little
Cliff Richard and twin brother Keith are said to be "utterly devastated" following the death of their big brother, Little, sources have told The...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones
Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones.
Over a hundred thousand people...
