Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise.
There is broad...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag
Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go...
Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...
Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...
Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage
Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'.
Corbyn...
Daily Mail readers boycott RSPB after it helps Canadian Goose
Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river.
One...
Man kills woman
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman
This article...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar
Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Facebook will always be free for students, promises Nick Clegg
Following the news that Nick Clegg has been hired by Facebook it has been announced that the platform will absolutely, definitely, always be free...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...
Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire.
Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...
2016 to do 3 more ‘meh’ deaths before big ‘omfg’ finale on the 31st...
Just before everyone's new favourite actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016 did a couple of 'aw, but they had a good innings' deaths in a...
