Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble...

DFS sale finally over

0
After 51 years, the DFS sale has finally come to an end. With the news from Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the UK has effectively...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Ryanair

Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage

75
Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said...
Criminal have pixelated faces

Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members

0
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
Burkina

Outrage as women flout Burkini ban on Rochdale beach

110
Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members...

Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight

3
Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

0
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

66
Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

0
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

9
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

0
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...

Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail

20
Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

0
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

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