A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport
Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Following the UK government's announcement...
Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!
Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Token female cycling club member thrilled to have been described as attractive
A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption...
Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar
Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Media blackout of J***** C***** continues
All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we...
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
