Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

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Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...
Young Couple

Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report

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Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...

Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began

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A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

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A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

‘Everybody in Scunthorpe will lose their jobs’ was on the other side of bus,...

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Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

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There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Bearded hipster coffee

Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat

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A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

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Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Wetherspoons

Brexit Party Manifesto a Wetherspoon’s menu with curry crossed out with crayon

The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.  To much fanfare the document has been revealed to...

Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

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The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...
Zizzi

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

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Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in...

“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered

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With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as...

Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot

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The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn...

Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise

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Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...

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