A five year old girl has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of tax evasion after a multi-million pound VAT investigation.

The girl, clearly already hell bent on a life of white collar crime, first came to the attention of council officer’s after setting up a stall on a pavement to sell her dodgy homemade beverages.

Mercifully eagle eyed enforcement officers spotted the little carpet nagger and were able to collar her before she scarpered.
HMRC were alerted to the possibility of as much as £2.34 having been evaded in VAT throughout the period of illegal trading and the multi-million pound investigation was launched to bring justice to the hard working taxpayers of the United Kingdom.
A spokesman for HMRC gave the following statement outside the court.

“HMRC is thrilled at the successful prosecution of one of Britain’s most devious tax evaders. It’s only by ignoring billionaires who have the money to employ legions of accountants and lawyers and focusing on the next generation of tax criminal can the country be certain of funding the public services this child herself uses.

All must pay tax. Except the very richest. It’s important this is understood.”
The child has been taken to Newgate prison following conviction to await sentencing on her sixth birthday.

It’s believed the prosecution has asked for the maximum possible sentence available in a case of this nature.

Deportation to the colonies is believed to be the preferred sentence desired by HMRC. However the spokesman did add,

“We are also exploring the possibility of hiring this child for a six figure sum so we can utilise skills acquired in the service of crime to track down other small children who seek to ruin the country by exploiting the sympathies of hardworking British taxpayers with cheap refreshments.”

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