Other News

Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said to be considering radical changes to the way they murder...

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections. “I have suffered...

Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.  Officer Colin McNigelson told the Herald that this past weekend has seen complaints about...

The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim was made in an editorial piece this morning. The editorial said,...

Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a multi billion dollar blue chip company is now run by...

Content creators and tabloids are celebrating this week as the Supermoon article market shows little sign of slowing. "It's kinda the opposite of the so-called Supermoon phenomenon itself," said Justin Hack, a freelance woo-spinner, "you...

An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care requirements are met. Following the budget announcement on Thursday that this...

Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and instead making a few quid on the freelancing market. This...

And they’re off It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look Like They Might Turn Slutty. And it’s Posh Girls, Posh...

A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to the Rochdale Herald about the results. "The number of epic fools...

The Home Secretary was tonight believed to be on the run from her own creation, the Keepers of Great Britain.

As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called to the stand and indicted himself, for incitement. In the federal...

Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure. The incident occurred while the Prime Minister was in the middle of a speech...

Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers in the Premier League, with only 6 months left in...

Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull. The founder of the MP cull pressure group Gas A Tory...