If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview
The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign
Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'.
Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Pippa’s lovely bottom gets married
Pippa Middleton's lovely bottom has today got married. The bottom shot to fame in 2011 when it turned up at Prince William's wedding and stole...
DWP and DUP conflicted over who are the bigger bastards.
Angry confusion has broken out on Twitter with the hashtags #DWP and #DUP.
The short tweets such as "Bastards ruin lives" and "Blood on your...
Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.
A hastily formed government led by...
Make America Great Again
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Conservative Party logo to be replaced with picture of Priti Patel’s smirk
The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.
The...
“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Costa kicks Conte into touch
Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from...
Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains
The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges
Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal.
In a statement...
