Other News

Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list. "It's been a pretty weird year this year." A spokesman for Buckingham Palace...

Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of the 7pm BBC show. After 6 minutes of dry retching Mr....

Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box. There was nearly a breakout in 1987 when Chico the twat had...

A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.

A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen Bowers, 19, has been handing out leaflets around Rochdale in...

Shoppers in the UK were shocked by a press release this morning from popular retailer Argos, who state they will not exchange or refund anymore Theresa May-bots. The appliances have been a top seller both...

Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking outside Number 10 Downing Street, press spokesman Arnold Robinson said,...

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...

This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered that many of them actually serve food. Long term study reveals...

Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the word "stat" to colleagues. Fortesque, of unknown age, was holding an...

Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat normally only felt on package holidays in Continental Europe. Jean-Claude Junker...

The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts on economics. Vice-Chancellor and senior lecturer on vice, Bob Logg, told...

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from constantly going on completely free five star holidays all the...

Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student debt on the Andrew Marr show. The move, designed to distract...

Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between June and July next year. The low-cost airline described the...

A self professed "die-hard Socialist" has admitted he's a bit pissed off with railway strikes. Chris P. Bacon told us, "I support the right to strike, of course I do, I just wish they'd do...