Trump Television – Live from the Whitehouse

4.00 pm Wake Up Oceania – or face the consequences. We know who you are and where you live, libtards. With everybody’s favorite President, Donald J Trump. Why worry about your Twitter feed when the greatest man is here, live, just for you?

6.00 pm – Live executions – all the fun without having to leave your own home.

6.30 pm – Factual And Korrectly Explained News – with Sean Sphincter

7.00 pm – Live executions – more from Death Row, whoop & holler as the bad men burn

8.00 pm – F.A.K.E. News – with your Captain, S. Sphincter.  Includes live interviews with the man making the news, the Donald himself

9.30 am – Girlie Coffee time – with Kelly-Ann Conway. Includes live interviews with the Don

12.00 pm – War? What is it good for? – Steve Bannon explains all the good bits about war and gives live updates on Oceania’s latest victories. With live TV pictures of Oceania’s enemies dying in hails of righteous bullets. Ultra slo-mo option available on subscription

5.00 pm – FAKE News – with Captain SS

5.30 pm – Kiddies TV. Look, Listen, Learn and big yourself up – with the nation’s favorite retard, Uncle Donald. Bigly Bigly Bigly

7.00 pm – Propaganda with SS

8.00 pm – Comedy Hour – watch Oceania’s favorite comedy act strut their stuff.  Who couldn’t sympathize with poor old put upon Donald Hardy as he struggles with the stupidity of the chinless British twat Stanley Farage? (Note – Donald Hardy is the silent part of the team because it’s funnier that way and not, and we really mean this, because he is incapable of learning his lines. ‘That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into Nii-gel!!’)

9.00 pm – HATE HOUR – with Steve Bannon.  Compulsory Viewing in Oceania (Due to the time difference, people on Airstrip 1 will have to get their faggot limey asses up early.  It’s your own fault for having lost 2 World Wars) HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

10.00 pm – Strippin’ Kelly-Ann Conway – catch out Kelly-Ann using alternative facts and phone in to get her to apologize live on TV after having first undone 3 buttons on her blouse and gotten her tits out. Remember the words of our President “Nothing gets the ratings up faster than tits”

10.30 pm – SS Propaganda

11.00 pm – Late night locker room talk – with your host and mine, Donnnnie Truuuump. Tits, legs, ass and pussy. We aim to please all red-blooded, God fearin’. male heterosexual. pick-up owning citizens. Watch carefully, some of the gals have guns. As the great man says ‘We wanna show some more beaver, that’s what I call ratings’

1.00 am – Night music – videos for insomniacs with DJ Trump. We have both kinds of music videos, Country and Western. ‘In da White House’

Get monthly highlights in your inbox