Other News

Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this legislative shit sandwich will get better over time, the more...

Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass. The grenade, nicknamed "Dementia Tax" was apparently inserted into May's rear...

Perennial mayoral election loser and political wet weekend 'Whispering' Zac Goldsmith resigned his seat in Richmond today after Theresa May announced plans to build a third runway in his back garden.

Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview with 2017 itself. In a world first we spoke to the...

Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at low tide is proving very popular with Conservative, Labour ...

Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on the kerb early to maximize social distancing. "It was the highlight...

The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being politely asked questions about his job during an interview on Radio...

The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The judges praised the extraordinary imagination and scope of utopian vision...

The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland shouldn't have allowed Apple to pay less in tax than...

This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership. According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from the Catholic anthem Every Sperm Is Sacred and distribute his...

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to intently copy stupid American ideas about what to ban. Its...

Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so ner,” is the new top riposte in their ongoing battle...

Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'. Lukaku's agent, Rob Grubber explained "It's coz they's loaded innit? Everyone...

Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources. The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits in supermarkets is an almost unheard of phenomenon. "It's really weird....

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things explained by local financial whizzkid, Imran Stockdale: "Currently your savings accrue...