U2 lead singer, Bono has announced that most of U2’s songs are about his need to avoid tax.

Bono is alleged to have told the owner of a Lithuanian shopping centre that a Lithuanian shopping centre was exactly what he was looking for.

The diminutive Irish rocker reportedly told the centre owner, “I’ve climbed the highest mountains both physically and metaphorically. I’ve even run through the fields on the way here because our tour bus broke down on the way. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

The Herald cannot confirm the exact location of the shopping centre as the street it is built on has no name.

In a suprising revelation the serial sunglasses wearing do-gooder with a Jesus complex let slip the inspiration for his line in the song, “Do they know it’s Christmas?”

Many people incorrectly believe the line is about famine in Africa. However, yesterday the line, “Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” was revealed to be a about regular tax payers.

It’s now understood that many pop and rock stars use abstract song lyrics as a way of instructing fellow artists how to pay as little tax as possible.

Many pop and rock stars got the idea for communicating directions on tax avoidance from old slave songs about the ‘underground railroad’. In those songs, slaves would be given directions about how to escape from their plantations in the forms of lyrics they would remember. The same idea has allegedly been used by U2 for the past 30 years.

One pop star who wishes to remain anonymous said, “We’re slaves to taxes in the same way African Americans were slaves. Our bondage and pain is exactly like that experienced by the slaves on the southern plantations. It’s only fair we be allowed to communicate these tax strategies to each other in song.”

It’s alleged that the song, “The sweetest thing” is about the feeling derived from finding a new tax haven.

Bono has denied this allegation.

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.