Other News

Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over Brexit was 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it,...

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch this afternoon. Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) was on his...

MPs warned today that inflation is likely to increase to 3% in coming months and people are starting to worry. During this current heatwave or "summer" that is sweeping across the UK and not giving...

Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest." It's not anything normal folk didn't already know but for...

In a dramatic twist in the GBBO story reports this morning say that founding members of the cast have signed contracts for a new show with Al Jazeera. It is believed that in the new...

A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle with something. Tributes have been pouring in from people all over...

Scientists from the Rochdale Institute of Social Sciences have reassured that fears relating to sex bots are overrated because most men won't read the manual and won't know how to turn them on. Dr Pussy...

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit. It's believed that by putting a...

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last 10 years. Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says he...

Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the United Kingdom. This morning the royal spokesperson stated, "With such a pathetic...

The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.

Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.

Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones. "Lord of the Rings is densely written, heroic and dry as a nun's knickers," he is quoted...

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state of the East Coast Mainline. Corbyn rounded on a reporter who...

Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18 years. "We're very proud to show our appreciation for ethnic talent,"...