Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not “Butlins holiday camps for Pakis” after all.

The revelation came as Mr Golding’s legal team were preparing a “do-overs” petition to get him out of prison as he is “very, very, very sorry” and “really didn’t realise they meant it” when they said you could get sent to prison for being a racist twat.

As it turns out, Prisons aren’t great and, no matter what religion you are, it isn’t a 5-star hotel.

An online petition to get Mr Golding sent to Birmingham in time to get a beating from prisoners spending the winter without hot water has now reached 200,000 signatures.

Mr Golding says he would really rather not and could someone please send him some thicker socks.

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