Britain’s comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview with Eddie Mair.

“What is the point of the Prime Minister?”

A question many of us are asking right now.

“Hang on a second…” replied the befuddled one.

Mair went on to accuse the dandy scarecrow of being in a Two Ronnies sketch, namely answering the question before last. Here is a sample of their dialogue:

“Foreign Secretary, how would you describe a government that performs so many U-turns?”


“Which shoes are your favourites?”

“Flip flops.”

“Which people are going to be most affected by Brexit?”

“Brown ones.”

“Why do tower blocks have such inflammable cladding?”

“It will benefit everybody, especially the poor.”

“What was the thinking behind removing manifesto promises from the Queen’s Speech?”

“It was believed to be both cheap and effective.”

“What do you think of Michael Gove’s reappointment?”

“It was damaging to the government.”

“What’s your opinion of Jeremy Corbyn?”

“I’ve always been his biggest fan.”

“What about David Davis?”

“He’s a danger to society.”

“And do you know what your public think about you?”

“A posh overpromoted idiot!”

“Boris Johnson, thank you.”

“You’re the best!”

Surely the crown prince of parliament has crashed and burned once too often?

No, like a phoenix, the blond bombast rose gracefully from the wreckage, which left central London gridlocked for over four hours.

His tweet was seized upon gratefully by his family, friend and his fan.