Halcyon Days Here to Stay
Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is...
Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse
Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page
Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.
Former socialite and...
Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles
Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
Olympics cancelled. To be replaced by international Fortnite tournament.
Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.
The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Newspaper sellers to take precautions.
Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...
Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
