EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert
52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
CABINET RESHUFFLE – Boris Johnson becomes Health Secretary
Theresa May's eagerly anticipated cabinet reshuffle has begun.
In what some would describe as "a bit of a surprise", the former Mayor of London and...
Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Argentina demand the return of Love Island
Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of...
Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
Keep me out of the news says BoJo
A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking
Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...
Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed
Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR).
Speaking via Text...
Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won...
Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east".
Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Virus tests increase to 1 million a day as Matt Hancock includes tests he’s...
The UK government has announced that Covid-19 testing has now far surpassed the target figure, coming in at 1 million a day.
Health Secretary, Matt...
Daily Express launches Diana 20th anniversary commemorative sticker album
The Daily Express and Panini have announce the launch of a commemorative sticker album for the 20th anniversary of the late Princess Diana.
Express readers...
