Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit
The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit.
No really.
The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people.
That's not even satire.
What the...
Cat that will only eat one type of food still happy to lick its...
Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick...
Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru
Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid
Viewers of one of Channel 5's only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism
Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Man reading menu is just going to have the burger
A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...
Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Piers and many other...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
