Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin
Make your own Original Trumpkin!
Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...
Scientists prove Morris dancing adds 10 years to your life. Britons still not interested.
Researchers at Swindon Institute of Rustic Studies have proved beyond doubt that regular Morris dancing increases longevity by 10 years.
Professor Ryan Cocks, Dean...
Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
MPs FORCED to play football in PARLIAMENT after ARROGANT ASTROTURF OPERATOR respects existing bookings
A talented group of female footballing MPs have no choice except to train for football games in the House of Commons
Starting a new football...
Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents
It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...
Bank Holiday Not Fucking Long Enough Decide People
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald.
"It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...
Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone
The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office
FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today.
"We do realise that culturally it's very...
Man reading menu is just going to have the burger
A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...
Vegan banned from Vegetarian Club when she says quinoa “tastes like chicken”
Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day.
Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the...
Safest pub in all of Yorkshire has been named
A York pub has been named as the safest in the county. The White Hart, on Micklegate, has achieved the “zero bother” standard in the...
Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us.
But enough about the tete-a-tete...
Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’
Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are...
Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Government Announces National Nothing Day.
From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day.
Just...
Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations
In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...




















































