Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations
In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...
Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking
Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...
Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas
Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays?
Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...
MPs FORCED to play football in PARLIAMENT after ARROGANT ASTROTURF OPERATOR respects existing bookings
A talented group of female footballing MPs have no choice except to train for football games in the House of Commons
Starting a new football...
Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast
The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...
Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase
Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...
Man on cocaine has best idea ever
Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week;
"A just thought, yer...
Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym
Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
Couple to Celebrate 20th Wedding Anniversary by Pushing Beds Together
Local couple, Steve and Barbara Dickinson, plan to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary by pushing their single beds together and possibly even having sex.
Barbara...
Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights
Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...
Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name
It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...
Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us.
But enough about the tete-a-tete...
Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’
Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are...
Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents
It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...
Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...
Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...




















































