Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas

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Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays? Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

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I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to...
Cyclist

Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...

A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.

Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast

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The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...

Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym

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Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
Man Reading Menu

Man reading menu is just going to have the burger

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A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...

MPs FORCED to play football in PARLIAMENT after ARROGANT ASTROTURF OPERATOR respects existing bookings

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A talented group of female footballing MPs have no choice except to train for football games in the House of Commons Starting a new football...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Man considering buying his wife lingerie for Christmas almost certainly shouldn’t.

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Research has found that the average bloke considering buying his wife lingerie this Christmas should probably not. "For a start, most blokes buy scarlet nylon...

Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween

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Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us. But enough about the tete-a-tete...

Overtired parent looking forward to grocery shopping alone for the ‘me time’

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An overtired parent 'who can have your name if you like' is looking forward to going grocery shopping later without their children so they...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

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Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...
Beautiful young woman is getting facial chocolate mask at spa. She is lying with closed eyes. The girl is smiling

Rochdale Beautician cautioned in blacking up row

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There were furious scenes in Rochdale as a local beautician was arrested on suspicion of racism after "blacking up" unsuspecting customers. Visitors to the day...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...

Vegan banned from Vegetarian Club when she says quinoa “tastes like chicken”

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Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day. Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the...

Bank Holiday Not Fucking  Long Enough Decide People 

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Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald. "It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...

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