Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds

3
A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...

Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations

0
In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

0
I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to...
Cyclist

Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...

A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

0
It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Crossfitter reprimanded after failing to disclose he does Crossfit to stranger

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Heavily trapped shoulders shrugged a sigh of relief today as justice was served to a rogue Crossfitter who failed to tell every single person...

Sex bots fears overrated as most men won’t read manual so won’t know how...

21
Scientists from the Rochdale Institute of Social Sciences have reassured that fears relating to sex bots are overrated because most men won't read the...

Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office

0
FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today. "We do realise that culturally it's very...

Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas

0
Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays? Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...

Dogged Victory for Campaigners

0
The city was jubilant this morning after the news that a lengthy battle to grant one of Rochdale's most popular locations the status as...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween

2
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us. But enough about the tete-a-tete...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

0
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...

Man on cocaine has best idea ever

0
Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer...

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