Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office

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FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today. "We do realise that culturally it's very...

Dogged Victory for Campaigners

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The city was jubilant this morning after the news that a lengthy battle to grant one of Rochdale's most popular locations the status as...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Bank Holiday Not Fucking  Long Enough Decide People 

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Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald. "It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...

Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym

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Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
British Tourists

Britons still enjoy holidays abroad as long as they don’t meet foreigners

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Britons have not fallen out of love with foreign holidays, according to a survey by Rochdale Community College's Leisure and Recreation Department. The survey found...

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations

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In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking

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Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

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Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...

Overtired parent looking forward to grocery shopping alone for the ‘me time’

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An overtired parent 'who can have your name if you like' is looking forward to going grocery shopping later without their children so they...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds

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A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...

Sex bots fears overrated as most men won’t read manual so won’t know how...

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Scientists from the Rochdale Institute of Social Sciences have reassured that fears relating to sex bots are overrated because most men won't read the...

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