Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Man considering buying his wife lingerie for Christmas almost certainly shouldn’t.

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Research has found that the average bloke considering buying his wife lingerie this Christmas should probably not. "For a start, most blokes buy scarlet nylon...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

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Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...

Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone

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The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
British Homeopath

Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...

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Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image...

Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym

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Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
Cyclist

Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...

A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Ovaltine and cats are the new clubbing

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Night clubbing has undergone a radical change in recent years. The club scene has had many different faces. From tea dances, jazz and the dancehall...
Boris Johnson

Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris Johnson is foreign...

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In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Calendar

Government Announces National Nothing Day.

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From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day. Just...
British Tourists

Britons still enjoy holidays abroad as long as they don’t meet foreigners

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Britons have not fallen out of love with foreign holidays, according to a survey by Rochdale Community College's Leisure and Recreation Department. The survey found...

Couple to Celebrate 20th Wedding Anniversary by Pushing Beds Together

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Local couple, Steve and Barbara Dickinson, plan to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary by pushing their single beds together and possibly even having sex. Barbara...

Man on cocaine has best idea ever

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Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer...

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