Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...
A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming
A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Britons still enjoy holidays abroad as long as they don’t meet foreigners
Britons have not fallen out of love with foreign holidays, according to a survey by Rochdale Community College's Leisure and Recreation Department.
The survey found...
Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights
Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...
A word in your ear Mr Lineker
I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker
Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar
If your boss still works with the devil
Then tell them to...
Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter
The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020.
"My pension doesn't cover the...
Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us.
But enough about the tete-a-tete...
Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Crossfitter reprimanded after failing to disclose he does Crossfit to stranger
Heavily trapped shoulders shrugged a sigh of relief today as justice was served to a rogue Crossfitter who failed to tell every single person...
Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds
A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym
Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
Couple to Celebrate 20th Wedding Anniversary by Pushing Beds Together
Local couple, Steve and Barbara Dickinson, plan to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary by pushing their single beds together and possibly even having sex.
Barbara...
Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations
In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
