Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Couple to Celebrate 20th Wedding Anniversary by Pushing Beds Together

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Local couple, Steve and Barbara Dickinson, plan to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary by pushing their single beds together and possibly even having sex. Barbara...
Woman in curlers

Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’

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Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are...

Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas

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Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays? Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone

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The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...

Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations

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In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...

Scientists prove Morris dancing adds 10 years to your life. Britons still not interested.

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Researchers at Swindon Institute of Rustic Studies have proved beyond doubt that regular Morris dancing increases longevity by 10 years. Professor Ryan Cocks, Dean...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

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It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights

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Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...

Man on cocaine has best idea ever

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Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Man Reading Menu

Man reading menu is just going to have the burger

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A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...

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