Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

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Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

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It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Ovaltine and cats are the new clubbing

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Night clubbing has undergone a radical change in recent years. The club scene has had many different faces. From tea dances, jazz and the dancehall...
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Bank Holiday Not Fucking  Long Enough Decide People 

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Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald. "It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...

Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking

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Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...

Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights

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Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas

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Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays? Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...

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