Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

0
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...

Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast

20
The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

30
Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...

Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds

3
A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

0
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas

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Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays? Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited...
Boris Johnson

Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris Johnson is foreign...

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In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...

Bank Holiday Not Fucking  Long Enough Decide People 

1
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald. "It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Man on cocaine has best idea ever

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Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer...

Ryan Air and EasyJet Shit Themselves as Government Look Into Banning Alcohol on Flights

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Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

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