Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone

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The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...

Ovaltine and cats are the new clubbing

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Night clubbing has undergone a radical change in recent years. The club scene has had many different faces. From tea dances, jazz and the dancehall...

Vegan banned from Vegetarian Club when she says quinoa “tastes like chicken”

2
Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day. Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

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I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking

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Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...

Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations

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In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...

Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office

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FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today. "We do realise that culturally it's very...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym

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Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...

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