Alleged assassin Alexander Petrov’s walking gear recommendations

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In an exclusive for The Rochdale Herald, alleged Russian agent and leading fitness industry consultant Alexander Petrov gives Herald readers his recommendations for walking...
Cyclist

Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...

A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.
British Tourists

Britons still enjoy holidays abroad as long as they don’t meet foreigners

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Britons have not fallen out of love with foreign holidays, according to a survey by Rochdale Community College's Leisure and Recreation Department. The survey found...
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

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I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to...

Scientists prove Morris dancing adds 10 years to your life. Britons still not interested.

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Researchers at Swindon Institute of Rustic Studies have proved beyond doubt that regular Morris dancing increases longevity by 10 years. Professor Ryan Cocks, Dean...

Pretentious Burnley couple having a thanksgiving dinner can’t understand why nobody’s coming

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A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds

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A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...
British Homeopath

Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...

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Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...

Safest pub in all of Yorkshire has been named

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A York pub has been named as the safest in the county. The White Hart, on Micklegate, has achieved the “zero bother” standard in the...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Sex bots fears overrated as most men won’t read manual so won’t know how...

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Scientists from the Rochdale Institute of Social Sciences have reassured that fears relating to sex bots are overrated because most men won't read the...

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