Budget airlines are in a state of panic as the government task some Lord to look into the possibility that alcohol could be banned or limited in airports and flights. 

“Who in their right mind is going to put themselves through one of our flights sober?” whined a spokesman for the Budget Airline Association, “It’s like a cattle car in the sky flying with us lot!”

“We charge exorbitant prices for fizzy alcoholic piss,” said another, “It’s our biggest money-spinner! We’re screwed if we can’t rip off these chavs with a four pack for £50!”

Millions of people get tanked up to fly to Ibiza and the Costas each year in an attempt to make their horrendous experience seem like a holiday. 

“I ain’t gettin’ on no plane!” said traveller known as Mr T, “not without my buzz on!”