FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today.
“We do realise that culturally it’s very tempting to lie on a beach soaking up the rays when on holiday,” said Roberta Smythe-Jenkinks, Foreign and Commonwealth Office spokesperson, “but the risks to health when doing this in the USA are considerable.”
The Foreign Office have issued a tan pallette and advise travellers to stay to the left of centre in terms of hue to avoid being shot whilst sunbathing The FOC already has warning about sunbathing causing skin cancers and sunstroke but new warnings have a different source.
“Unfortunately the risk of being shot by the police whilst tanned is a very real danger these days,” explained Roberta, “and we advise you to stay as pasty looking as possible. Unless you’re what our boss, Boris Johnson, refers to as a piccaninny. In which case you might want to borrow a Goth’s makeup kit.””
A suncream of at least SPF500 is recommended as well as spending more time indoors while in the USA.
“We also advise people to avoid carrying mobile phones, caps, cigarettes or toy trucks and anything else that might be mistaken as a firearm by a trigger-happy, racist with a badge,” Roberta added.
