Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

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The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.

Stoner Relieved Global Conspiracy to Crush the Poor Not Just Weed-Induced Paranoia

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Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take...

STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances

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Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Mike Pence

US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer

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There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

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Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

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Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

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A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

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High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...

Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...

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Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

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The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Couple with dog

Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car

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do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA...

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