Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

0
The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

0
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

17
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...

Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

0
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
School Crossing

Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers

0
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week...
E-Cigarette

E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’

0
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found. The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...

UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies

0
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Evil Tory bastards sign off on pay increase for 1.3 million NHS workers

0
Over a million NHS staff including front line nurses and paramedics are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

0
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

0
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Snake

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

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A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying...
Boris Johnson

I’m not against loonies, I gave Boris a job says May

2
A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

4
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

0
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...

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