Entertainment

A bright New Year's Day and I am sitting in the fashionable Chelsea bistro 'Hereafter' waiting for Keef, as I know him, to arrive.  Amazingly, he is there on time, threading his way through the...

As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined taste are bracing themselves for months of impenetrable chatter. "What did...

Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted off the show.  The show pits the country's top chefs against...

With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face And here's to you Tommy Robinson Mohammad loves you more than you will know Whoa,...

Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet experts. Men with access to a computer have unanimously agreed that...

A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged. Music fan Lennie Payne 41, told the Rochdale Herald of how much he preferred...

Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a movie scheduled for release this week. Fast and Furious 167 (Barnsley...

Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone. Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely mortified! My Android device vibrated and I was elated to...

With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement from television. The national treasure told the Herald today; "I've had a...

In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC. On Sunday it was revealed, as long-rumoured, that the 13th...

In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is to be played by Diane Abbott MP. Director Roger De Bris...

After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be a reality. A number of campaigns over the past ten years...

Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the winner of the competition baking Noel Fielding into a space...

Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet Hadley blamed his departure on "circumstances beyond my control", taken...

Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger was said to look 'visibly shaken', as he frantically searched...