Ken Loach to direct next Star Wars film ‘Empire on Strike’ as gritty Northern...
Star Wars fans have been shocked by Disney's announcement that Star Wars episode IX will be directed by Ken Loach, who plans to pivot...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
New Doctor Who already hates Jeremy Hunt
The new Doctor hasn't even reanimated yet and already she has fallen out with Jeremy Hunt.
The Doctor told the Herald, "Jeremy asked to see...
Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album.
The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation
Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'.
Ralph Johnson of Middleton said;
"Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...
Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu
Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Sheikh & Bake! Al Jazeera Swoop For Mary Berry, Mel & Sue
In a dramatic twist in the GBBO story reports this morning say that founding members of the cast have signed contracts for a new...
Gove to juggle environment portfolio with rent boy role in Midnight Cowboy sequel
Michael Gove will juggle his new appointment as environment minister with a starring role in the long awaited sequel to 60s cult classic movie,...
V&A apologises for asking man who whipped his Albert out to cover up
The Victoria and Albert Museum has apologised after a man said he was asked to "cover up" while whipping his cock out for a...
Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you
The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all.
After the the shock death...
