Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods
The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported.
"He was...
Right wing extremist appears on Good Morning Britain to interview Tommy Robinson
Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was...
Ban on new celebrity Chefs
The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic.
It...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet
Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival.
North Norfolk District Council broke the...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis
Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis.
Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
Man who says negativity causes cancer sues HBOS for fraud
A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill
health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he...
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is pregnant!
Possibly...
The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl,...
All Your Faves Dying Just Preparation for apocalypse
2016 has seen the death of pretty much every famous person you like. We interviewed Death yesterday to find out why:
"I KNOW PEOPLE ARE...
That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86
That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
Katie Price Fails 5 Minutes Into Her Attempt To Go A Whole Day Without...
Three days ago the former glamour model Katie Price, also known as Libya, attempted to last a whole day without doing anything to publicise...
Sir Bruce Forsyth declared fit for work by ATOS
British television legend Sir Bruce Forsyth has died at the age of 89 of a chest infection.
Bruce was well known for his dancing and...
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
