Karen Danczuk Topless

Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...
Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success

A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was going to flop. Now he's been shown to be utterly wrong,...

Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace

Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath of the good folk of Rochdale. The entire population is...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...

Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison. The unusual move has come after Ant McPartlin crashed his car and failed a breath...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize

Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it. The prize recognises Mr Corbyn's contribution over 20 years to the Northern...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street has commissioned the famous comedian Stephen Fry. Given the smash hit...
Fauxtrage

Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity

A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.

Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right

Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats who featured on the Catchphrase show. "My team and I were...

Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign

Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'. Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the campaign aims to fight against what it calls a 'vaginocentric...

Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay

The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen to him, and that it transpires that not everyone Kevin...

Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...

The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly ended his life just moments after news broke of Carrie...

Britain First Dates

After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding being sent to prison called 'Britain First Dates'. The show will...

Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’

President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to develop nuclear weapons which could reach the mainland United States....

Angelina Jolie on track to beat Elizabeth Taylor’s record

Marriage fan Angelina Jolie revealed yesterday that she was well on track to break the late Elizabeth Taylor's Hollywood record of eight marriages and seven husbands. Following a series of short marriages to Johnny Lee...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen”. The single will also a feature...

Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...

Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.

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