Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!
There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...
Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits
Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them.
The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...
Ant McPartlin forced to have Anti-Drink-Driving Billboard attached to Forehead as Punishment for DUI
London, England- Embroiled host Ant McPartlin will be hosting something new. While waiting to see what the final outcome of his DUI arrest, Ant...
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire
In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park
Twitter explodes after banning racist for racism after warning him not to be racist...
The social media platform Twitter is going bonkers today after permanently banning a user for inciting an abusive racist attack on a fellow Twitter...
Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery
With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that...
Brexit means boo-boo for May’s haute couture
Prime Minister Theresa May has been pictured wearing some of the very best in British haute couture recently.
Her bold departure from her usual...
Mary, Mel and Sue to present new slapstick kids tv show ‘The Cackle...
The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news...
Pippa, Middleton, Topless Bikini Photo Scandal
Pippa, from Middleton near Rochdale, was said to be bemused today after seeing photos of a topless bikini advertised for sale in Rochdale's premier...
Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Speculation had run rife that, having been born...
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet
Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...















































