Royals

HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.  Palace officials were quick to point out that the hospitalisation was purely precautionary as the result...

Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of Windsor will announce. With an official announcement yet to be forthcoming,...

The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.  The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet the Queen of England. Queen Elizabeth II really does not want...

People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy, successful actress share his state benefits by marrying her at...

Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details of the Queen's bra size. The makers of the Royal over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder...

Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street has commissioned the famous comedian Stephen Fry. Given the smash hit...

The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall or something. The Queen loves a bargain so seized her...

The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from King Edward VIIII's hospital in Battersea. The Duke is rumoured to...

Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and then raise him as a girl. In a memo leaked to...

Young girls were released into the Sandringham Estate and shot at as part of Ghislaine Maxwell's birthday celebrations, Prince Andrew has revealed. The Duke of Pork has denied having sex with the underage girls, however,...

Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on shonky, discredited fake news outlets for some time now, retired...

Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of souls. His Royal Highness had been admitted to King Edward VII...

Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never heard of this man, he's never been in my womb...

By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to disrespect our glorious monarch Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II by...

In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week. 7am - Woken up by Maude, my maid carrying my breakfast in. She puts it...

Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and hoping to God that the baby is a ginger. The announcement...