Theresa May

May slams link to Wheat Supremacists claims as ‘ridiculous’

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Theresa May has dismissed claims that she met and briefed Czech Wheat Supremacists during the Cold War years as a "ridiculous smear". According to a...
Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

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An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh...

Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents

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Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think...

Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie

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By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...
Builder

Builder who did the quote for Buckingham Palace sucked air through his teeth first

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After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said; "Well, there's the pointing, supplies, man hours, that...

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

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Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...
BBC Question Time

Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom

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The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording. Filming of the BBC...
Theresa May

Concerns raised over driverless lorry tests after results of ongoing driverless country test

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Haulage and motoring groups were raising concerns this morning over driverless lorry tests on motorways, citing the results of the ongoing driverless country test. Transport...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

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Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...

Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day

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Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio. Parent and washed...

14000 airbus job losses and 3.8 million settled migrants was on the other bus...

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Brexiteers have been scrambling around attempting to tell everyone that 14,000 job losses at Airbus and 3.8 million settled migrants was on a completely...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

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A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
Puppy Christmas

John Lewis Christmas advert shows puppy being fed into blender

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Retailer John Lewis has released its Christmas advert for 2017 which shows a cute puppy being fed into an industrial strength blender. The eagerly anticipated...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

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The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson hired to advise UKIP members on starting grooming gangs.

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UKIP members are cock-a-hoop at the news that leader Gerald Batman has engaged the services of Tommy Robinson to advise on grooming gangs. "This is...
Nana

What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas

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A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...

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