Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident
The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle
Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week.
Prisoners in Siberian...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.
It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers
BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...
Internet expert reveals Roman Empire was predominantly black
You heard it here last. Internet expert in everything and porn enthusiast @JailbaitPlanet has scandalised so called “experts” and “professional historians” by revealing in a...
Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...
Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN
The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is December for the billionth year...
Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned
People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Fathers happy to ditch Father’s Day if it means Mother’s Day is canned too
The Rochdale Institute of Advanced Fathering has issued a statement today offering to do away with Father's Day on the condition Mother's Day goes...
Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas
The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas.
Santa Claus...
Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000
A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason.
Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Scottish Windfarm to re-open after summer recess
Nicola Sturgeon is to give a massive boost to renewable energy later today by droning on about the "way forward for Scotland" and as...
Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great
A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...
