Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.

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Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government. Over this...

Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...

Authorities launch investigation as Strangeways drops out of top 10 for acute violence

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Prison authorities in the North West have announced an urgent investigation into why no prisons in the North West made it into the top...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

Vexatious Claims: A Rochdale Herald Guide

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The government says it wants to dodge certain bits of the European Convention On Human Rights because of an "Industry of false and vexatious...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Emergency Services

Office worker pops supressing huge fart during 5 hour meeting

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Tragedy struck a small IT company in Dorking yesterday after one of its office workers brave efforts to tame a particularly brutal build-up of...
Man buying a wheel

I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men

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Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. "If I start shopping at...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Clubbing

Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people

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A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people  tonight. Barbara...

Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great

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A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning

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Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson

Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
Theresa May

Theresa May – the facts

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Theresa May - the facts She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10 2. She...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.

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