Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight

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A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...

Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference

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UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...

Queen shows solidarity with NHS workers by only accepting 1% pay rise

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Her Maj Queen Elizabeth II today graciously accepted a £6m pay increase in order to show solidarity with nurses and teachers. "I heard that public...
Michael Gove

Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’

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An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove...

Boris promises £350M per week to recovery of British Virgin Island tax havens

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Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove to celebrate New Year’s Eve with simple meal of live mice and...

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Michael Gove has confirmed that he will be spending New Year Eve at home for quiet night in with his eggs. The environment secretary has...
Yorkshire Family

Family of Yorkshireman caught in endless loop of telling it like it is win...

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There was a relief for a family on the wrong side of the Pennines this afternoon, as a man with a debilitating terminal illness...

Only Mandelson Eligible to Vote in Leadership Election after Mass Cull

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In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities...
Big Ben

Sound of Jeremy Hunt flushing money down forty grand toilet replaces Big Ben chimes...

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NHS workers and the general public were reassured this morning to learn Jeremy Hunt flushing money down his new toilet will replace the sound...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
Cocker Spaniel

Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when...
Brexit Bus

4,600 redundancies at Rolls Royce was on the other bus, insist Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that 4,600 people being made redundant at Rolls Royce was on a different bus to the one...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Woman eating sweets

Disgraceful mum eats way through another giant tub of Haribo before Trick or Treaters...

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Disgraced mother-of-two Barbara Dickinson, from Rochdale was disgusted with herself yet again today, after eating through another tub of Halloween themed Starmix.  Mrs Dickinson has...
Poached Egg

Someone on Instagram has poached an egg

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According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.  Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...

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