Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues

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With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...

Northern Expert finds London still full of wankers

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Professor Emeritus of Southern Studies at the University of Leeds, Joe Roots, confirmed in his opening lecture of the 2017/18 academic term that: “London is...
BMW

Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake

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A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...

Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...

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Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...

Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto

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A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

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In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

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The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...

‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss

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The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week; "Everyone is equal and all religions should be...

Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy

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Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...

Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.

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A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness. Poppy Cox had...

“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May

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Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...

May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn

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Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...

UKIP Neighbour in Festive Twat Fiasco

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A member of UKIP has made the news after showing the good old, British, Christian spirit: he's built a large billboard to piss off...

Man gets straw into Capri Sun first go

A bloke from Rochdale is being praised as some kind of wizard today after getting a straw into a Capri Sun on his effort. Ryan...

“It’s Warmas” declares Britain

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Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall? Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...

Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...

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