UKIP launch investigation into how 3 of its members managed to read a map

0
UKIP have launched an immediate inquiry into how 3 of its members managed to read a map and several signs to find a book...

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

0
Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.

Rees-Mogg reveals time travel is workable Irish border solution

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel. Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a...
Queen and Philip

Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’

4
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...
Boris Johnson

Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris is Foreign Secretary

In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Corbyn

Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...

0
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry. He told the press...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

0
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Fat Kid

Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity

0
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

0
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Unhappy Man

Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year

0
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
Nuclear explosion

May denies knee-jerk policy reaction to Trident misfire

0
Sources at Number 10 today denied that there was any connection between elements of Theresa May's new industrial strategy and the colossal Trident balls-up...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

0
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...

Your Mum has a dildo

0
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

0
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...

Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film

0
Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts