Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult

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A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Fears 40% of millenials may never have tedious home improvement conversations

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There are fears that up to 40% of millennials may never be able to have tedious home improvement conversations. Fewer and fewer people are able...

Government should save people’s shop John Lewis says man who hasn’t been in since...

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A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may...

The Queen is afraid Donald Trump will leave orange residue all over Buckingham Palace...

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The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.  The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet...

Tower Bridge To House Migrants 

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London readers will notice scaffolding appearing on the iconic Tower Bridge today (Saturday) as the bridge is now closed until December in order to...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

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Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Amber Rudd

I did get the memo, but I don’t know what’s in it because I...

Home Secretary Amber Rudd has admitted that she did actually get the memo about specific migrant removal targets, but was unable to read it...

Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft

The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

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The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

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As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...
Boris Johnson

Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone

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The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Let’s get this over with Says Queen

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Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot". Her worshipfulness...

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