Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery
A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...
Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...
Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism
Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism.
"Clearly this is...
Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation
In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Children of hippy parents gear up for annual disappointment of ethical advent calendars
The children of hippies have been telling the Herald about how they've been preparing for receiving disappointing advent calendars.
8 year old Freedom Snowphish said,...
Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets
Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...
Vote leave caught cheating at tombola
The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola.
It turns out...
Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”
Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk.
A spokesman for the company...
Tories announce mass culling of Wombles
Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...
Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views.
Cal Low, who...
Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry.
He told the press...
Office tea expert ‘just sad’ reveals study
It was confirmed today that people who make a song and dance about brewing and drinking tea are among the saddest characters in any...
Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole
An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole.
Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...
Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
Scandal as NewsThump admits to making stuff up
A scandal is breaking in the media industry with allegations of editorial impropriety at NewsThump, one of the world's most trusted online news sources.
Trusted by...
