Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.
Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything
The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...
Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery
A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas
A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift.
16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...
Russian Government says it asked Arron Banks to organise a trip to Salisbury Cathedral
Arron Banks has said that he only spoke to Russian Government officials because they had asked him to organise a tour of Salisbury Cathedral....
Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison.
Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated...
Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon
Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum.
Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...
Conservative Party campaign back on track after nobody resigns over rape or racism allegations...
The Tory Party is today celebrating getting its election campaign back on track after it managed to go a full half an hour without...
Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated
Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
