Herald Editor Appalled by Cross Country Trains As Tea Served in Paper Cup in...

There were angry scenes in the first class carriage of the 9:15 to Birmingham today after a Rochdale Herald editor was served tea in...
unhappy man

Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day

0
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day. “Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
Teaching Cat

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer

0
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

0
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...
Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit

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Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces RAF to be replaced by the Russian Air Force

0
Chris Grayling has announced that the Royal Air Force will be disbanded and its responsibilities outsourced to the Russian Air Force. Speaking from Ivan the...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Your Mum has a dildo

0
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Shed fire

Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage

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Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...

Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving

27
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...

Husband Goes Shopping Buys Everything on List

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A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
Conspiracy Theorists

Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G

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Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G. Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told...

Belfast Orange walk to become 24k Gold walk

4
The annual Orange walk of Belfast's protestant population is to take place this weekend and is expected to reveal itself now as a 24K...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

0
Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

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