Purse

Wonga to rebrand as Universal Credit Day Loans

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The Autumn Budget 2017 announced changes to Universal Credit, merging the government's flagship benefits payment scheme with short-term high-cost credit provider Wonga. Mr B.Starde a...

Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers

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Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...

Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person

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Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...

Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons

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Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...

Brexit Halloween Threat

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Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

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The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...

Kitchen fitter offered job as spy

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Roy Clark, a 56 year old kitchen fitter from Castleton was amazed to discover that his application for Agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service...

Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great

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A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...
Walking Holiday

Swiss banks confirm Theresa May’s walking holiday was great for business

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"Normally we only get foreign potentates, third world dictators, drug magnates and the odd closet Nazi holidaying here," said Herman Gnom, spokesman for Zurich's Lavamatbank explaining that footage of a genuine prime minister - even one with no majority, no mandate and about to be deposed by her own party has been a huge boost for Swiss banks' credibility.

Man who said homeopathy should be available on the NHS attends first chemistry lesson

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The man who said that Homeopathy should have a place on the NHS as it compliments science based medicine as they both come from...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

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With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...

Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality

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The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage. "I didn't know which way...

1st of January 2017 to start with Bobby Ewing taking a shower

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World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...

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