Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...
Angry

People angry about Hillsborough weren’t even victims

13
Like a crowd of Paul Nuttalls, they press forward into the comments section, STOP, STOP writing right there. “The timing is appalling, how dare you...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

0
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…

22
Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the...

SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

0
It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

0
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...
En Suite

Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson promises £350M a week to the recovery of the British Virgin Islands

0
Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Homeless Man

Government toasts success as rate of reduction in homelessness doubles

0
Homeless reduction is the latest resounding success for Britain's most popular female Prime Minister ever. The May Government has shown that not only may it...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

0
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...

New Carling advert just footage of Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home

3
A new advertising campaign for Carling beer will allegedly feature Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home. The campaign has come in for criticism from...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

0
Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
Nuclear explosion

A year in review because I don’t know if we’ll still be here in...

0
If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of...

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