After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally be made official today at the Queen’s speech.

The last fortnight has been fraught with chaos and poor decisions from our once strong and stable leader, Treeza May, with her reaction to the Grenfell Tower disaster angering both the locals and the rest of the country alike, to a lacklustre start of the Brexit negations.

On the Tory manifesto she’s done more u-turns than a vehicle that can only turn right, however, she was hoping that today would be a transition into a new steady government, free from distraction and able to conduct the rest of the negotiations in relative peace.

This, unfortunately, isn’t going to be the case as Mrs. May has come under considerable fire from her own party for her ‘reckless’ decision to hold the Queen’s speech on the annual day of rage.

The event, famous for inspiring The Purge film franchise, sees Londoners turn their backs on law and order for the day by throwing caution to the wind.

Notable heated scenerarios in the past have included people talking quite loud in libraries, dropping litter and trying to use out of date Monopoly coupons in McDonald’s.

The most notorious incident lead to a man being cautioned for smoking in a hospital.

Tory peer, Lord Cecil Kensington Goodfellow-Goode, said in a Sky interview,

“She’s a proper dick (May). She does my nut in. Who arranges the Queen’s speech on Rage Day for Christ’s sake? Is this thing On!? You won’t broadcast this will you?”

Furthermore, as a double blow to Mrs. May, she appears to have also angered the Queen herself by arranging the speech on the day of Ascot.

An advisor told us that Her Majesty is reportedly ‘royally fucked off with that bulldog chewing a wasp’ and she ‘might ask that lunatic Corbyn to form the next government for shits n giggles’. The Rochdale Herald will continue to cover the story throughout the day.