David Davis

David Davis-Brexit Speech in full

0
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

0
Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check

0
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...

Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques

0
The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques. In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...

Man with plan to carpe the absolute diem out of today now on his...

13
A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work. Trevor...

Baxter, president of Dogs, issues chilling warning to Felix, Beloved Leader of the Cats.

0
President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...

I’ll poo wherever I like, says baby

0
6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was...
Putin White Denim

Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...

0
  Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

0
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Scientists

Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea

0
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea. Clarence Tetley,...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

0
A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...
Pigs

Stop calling florid cheeked alcoholic racists gammon, it’s racist, say pigs

0
Pig's have been telling us that calling alcoholic racists gammon is racist. Pig, Stan Still said, "It's racist and it trivialises our sacrifice. Millions of...

British public says Nigel Farage can have peerage now so long as we don’t...

1
“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”

Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend

0
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts