Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours.
"Listen here," said an...
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Awkward Moment as Someone has to explain what a Joke is to Theresa May
There was an awkward meeting this morning when an assistant to the Prime Minister had to explain to her what a joke was.
This occurred...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...
Be nice to Meghan or we will end up with an old boot –...
The British Press had better be nice to Prince Harry's new girlfriend Meghan Markle or we could end up with "a bat-shit crazy old...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine.
"Donald Trump...
Michael Gove escaped ‘after gate left open’
Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured.
The animal,...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
Concerns raised over driverless lorry tests after results of ongoing driverless country test
Haulage and motoring groups were raising concerns this morning over driverless lorry tests on motorways, citing the results of the ongoing driverless country test.
Transport...
Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves.
At...
Potholes are going to be our next victims, confirms government
A source within the Conservative Party has confirmed today that they plan to murder all of the potholes in the country should they win...
Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
