Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...

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Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...
Tim Farron

Tim Farron forced to hand over lunch money during visit to primary school

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Tim Farron has today visited a primary school in Bacup in an effort to convince voters that the Lib Dems absolutely, cross their hearts hope...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

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Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...

Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

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Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...

Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher

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Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...
Gym

Gyms too fucking busy, confirm everybody

Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.  It was standing room only in every single...
Theresa May

Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza

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"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Houses of Parliament

People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported

The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the...

Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun

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Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...

Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend

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The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

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A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

Praying for Grenfell survivors definitely the least you can do, say experts

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Praying for the survivors and victims of the Grenfell Tower fire is definitely the least you can do experts have claimed. Dr Frederick Seddon...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

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