Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year
In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...
British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport
British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports.
Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...
Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children
Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies
In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago.
Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G
Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G.
Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told...
Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents
Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education.
You think...
Please stop comparing me to Hitler pleads bloke who just gave speech to German...
A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking...
Bloke who described himself as inspirational and entrepreneurial on CV definitely neither
A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged.
During a...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
Peter Andre to press Brexit Button
As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
South Koreans and Londoners in agreement that it’s “grim up north”
South Koreans will similarly be asked to stand on the border with their own north and use megaphones to shout at their alienated relatives that they think they have it hard, they could try living in Rochdale.
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP
Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.
