Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...

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Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...

The Queen is afraid Donald Trump will leave orange residue all over Buckingham Palace...

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The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.  The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

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It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
PC World

Confused Alt-Right activists boycott PC World

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Several branches of the computer retailer PC World have reported a spike in confused right-wing "activists" gathering outside their premises in protest. The cause of...
Al Powell

Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News

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Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

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 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Arseholes planning to ruin Christmas by not letting go of 2016 political bollocks

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Unfortunately an opportunity to have that shit in your family who disagrees with you captive for a few hours is too much for some
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets

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Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...
Village fete

Vote leave caught cheating at tombola

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The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola. It turns out...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

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Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
Titanic

Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’

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Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...

It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist

Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...

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