Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

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Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...

Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year

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It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.  Herr Dr Professor Doktor...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

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Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
M25

First M25 user leaves Thatcher’s Hell road after 30 years

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Albert J Bilsborough, 63, has finally left the M25 after 30 years, after also being amongst the first motorists to enter the hell road. The...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson distances himself from the Labour Party

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Right wing folk hero Tommy Robinson has issued a statement distancing himself for The Labour Party. The statement was issued in response to speculation that...

Nigel Farage reveals he was thrown out of the SAS for being too good

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed that he was thrown out of the SAS for being too good. Mr Farage MP (just kidding) was...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

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Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...
Ryanair

Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist

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A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Corgi

Queen deciding which Corgi to shoot first if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister

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Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be...

Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens

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The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...

Emergency services respond to man with spade in head

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Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries. The man's wife called 999 after her...

53 year old man killed in gigantic pants fire

A 53 year-old man killed in a gigantic pants fire at his home in Upper Wally in Oxfordshire has been described by former colleagues...

Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult

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A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last...

May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage

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After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

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It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...

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