Sound of Jeremy Hunt flushing money down forty grand toilet replaces Big Ben chimes...
NHS workers and the general public were reassured this morning to learn Jeremy Hunt flushing money down his new toilet will replace the sound...
Woman captures the spirit of Christmas by screening calls, binge eating and watching Netflix.
Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day.
Instead of answering calls from...
Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected
The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.
A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
Royal Baby ‘pretty unlikely to be ginger’ say Palace sources
Buckingham Palace sources have told The Rochdale Herald that it is "pretty bloody unlikely" that the next Royal baby will be a ginger.
They...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
It’s a Christmas Miracle says Rochdale Man who needed nineteen pairs of new socks
A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.
Cost of posting a letter first class rises to both legs below the knee
The rises in the cost of posting your mum's birthday card using The Royal Mail have now come into effect.
A first-class stamp will now...
Britain warned Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phatom Menace
Britain has been warned that Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. The warning comes a week after the Government...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off
Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement.
Neil interrupted...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Someone on Instagram has poached an egg
According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.
Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year
It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.
Herr Dr Professor Doktor...
