Wicker

Remote Scottish regions report shortages of wicker.

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Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland. This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people...

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

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We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

Quentin Letts launches #StopFundingReasonableness campaign

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Quentin Letts, which is a name you may have heard, without actually knowing what it is, is apparently a man, and not an upper...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning

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Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
Nuclear explosion

A year in review because I don’t know if we’ll still be here in...

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If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance

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Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...

Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail readers hospitalised after inhaling EU migrant gas at Birling Gap

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Over one hundred patriotic Daily Mail readers were hospitalised yesterday after inhaling toxic EU migrant gas while innocently sea siding at Birling Gap. The weather...

Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid

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Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend. They...
Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

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The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...

Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers

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Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...
Sturgeon

‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP

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The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
First year student can't wait to get home to tell her pony all about Marxism

First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...

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A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...

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