Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist
A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks
Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather.
Speaking from the middle of a...
Rochdale Herald Reporter groomed in ‘Muslim No-Go Area’.
Our South Yorkshire correspondent Sebastian Wiesel recounts his experience of yesterday morning.
"I was walking round Sheffield antiques quarter this morning, looking for a place...
Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion
Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve.
Father...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal
The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...
New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns
To a POTUS
Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button
He's welcome not...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Stop calling florid cheeked alcoholic racists gammon, it’s racist, say pigs
Pig's have been telling us that calling alcoholic racists gammon is racist.
Pig, Stan Still said, "It's racist and it trivialises our sacrifice. Millions of...
We survived Bubonic plague so we’ll probably survive Brexit, Government assures Britain
The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal,...
