National News

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP...

The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...

Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van. The news that Jamie...

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...

It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today. We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...

Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...

London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, “I welcome the decision by parliament to allow London’s rich culture to be reflected in its most loved landmarks. We all know and love Big Ben’s regular chimes and I am certain Londoners will come to appreciate the melodic chant of the Adhan five times a day.”

In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...

A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged. During a...

A teenager from Burnley has saved an absolute fortune on Father's Day by having all seven of her children with the same bloke. Kayleigh-Leigh Leigh-Ann...

Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need...

A fire that has gutted a branch of Primark in Belfast has destroyed £5.50 worth of stock. Primark manager, Shaughn O'Shaughnasseigh told us, "This fire...

GMP Saddleworth were last night were conducting a full manhunt, as the spate of gender neutral snow beings being cruelly desecrated with a carrot...

Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...