Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day

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Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio. Parent and washed...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

New BananaPhone for men undersized, unreliable, and turns itself off when you want to...

6
The new BananaPhone has been launched exclusively at the male market. It has a retractable cover which simply pulls down for ease of use,...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

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A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
Emergency Services

Office worker pops supressing huge fart during 5 hour meeting

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Tragedy struck a small IT company in Dorking yesterday after one of its office workers brave efforts to tame a particularly brutal build-up of...

Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person

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Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Theresa May

You’re In Or You’re Out

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Casual racism is set to become a thing of the past under new Prime Minister Theresa May. Shoe-obsessed Theresa May has announced plans to eradicate...

Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled

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The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...

New Carling advert just footage of Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home

3
A new advertising campaign for Carling beer will allegedly feature Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home. The campaign has come in for criticism from...
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

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Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...

Stonewall acknowledge calls for heterosexual pride day with “Float of Closets”

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Breakthrough for influential alt-gay movement as the legendary Ruth Hunt, CEO of Stonewall, personally announced the plan to address the concerns that alt-gays were...
Vauxhall

Man in spoiler covered Vauxhall Zafira admits life hasn’t turned out as hoped

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Warning: This article contains spoilers. Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans...

Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid

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Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend. They...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

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After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

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After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...

Scottish islanders prepare to offer counselling to Londoners who lose wheelie bins in Storm...

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As Storm Brian barrels towards the UK with increasing media fury Scottish islanders are preparing to offer counselling to Londoners, and other bewildered southerners,...

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