Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...
Scottish Windfarm to re-open after summer recess
Nicola Sturgeon is to give a massive boost to renewable energy later today by droning on about the "way forward for Scotland" and as...
Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph
Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry
f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at
all orchestrated and not tailored...
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night
Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Government toasts success as rate of reduction in homelessness doubles
Homeless reduction is the latest resounding success for Britain's most popular female Prime Minister ever.
The May Government has shown that not only may it...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage
A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...
Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger
United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Chaos at Speakers’ Corner after steaming pile of dog excrement is mistaken for Tommy...
There were scenes of chaos at Speakers' Corner earlier today after a steaming pile of dog shit was apparently mistaken for EDL-founder Tommy Robinson.
It is understood that the moldering heap of crap, which...
‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP
The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000
The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...
Brexiteers demand Government grants cognitive dissonance settled status
Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain...
