Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues
With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...
Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.
A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness.
Poppy Cox had...
Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...
Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week;
"Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy
Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn
Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Man gets straw into Capri Sun first go
A bloke from Rochdale is being praised as some kind of wizard today after getting a straw into a Capri Sun on his effort.
Ryan...
Drug Dealers Move to Distance Themselves from Hopkins
Ketamine dealers nationwide have moved to distance themselves from Katie Hopkins, it has been confirmed.
The news came following the upholding of a complaint by...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
UKIP Neighbour in Festive Twat Fiasco
A member of UKIP has made the news after showing the good old, British, Christian spirit: he's built a large billboard to piss off...
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
Wetherspoons strike causes customer to drink 4 pack of lager for breakfast
A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being...
Software update happens at convenient time
A laptop in an office in Rochdale has undergone a comprehensive software update without completely screwing up his owner’s day.
The laptop, which is an...
