UK appoints man that burnt 5G mast down to plan lockdown lifting

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The UK Government has announced that it has appointed a new 'Lockdown Czar' to lead plans to lift the lockdown. Bill Board from Rochdale...

Edinburgh caught in grip of Calamine lotion shortage as midge season starts

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Insect repellent sold out today as the temperature north of the border rose above zero, Spring sprang and Edinburgh played host to the annual...

Arseholes planning to ruin Christmas by not letting go of 2016 political bollocks

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Unfortunately an opportunity to have that shit in your family who disagrees with you captive for a few hours is too much for some

Farage performs volte-face on Europe after Trump-May love in

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Seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced he may be in favour of the UK's European Union membership after all. In an...

Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas

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A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift. 16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...
Teabag

Teabag enters second month on little plate by kettle

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of...

Ruins of sunken city in South Yorkshire ‘just Sheffield’, archeologists told

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Archeologists have been left disappointed today after being told that the ruins of an ancient sunken city was actually just Sheffield. Archeologist Bill Board told...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...

Anglo US relations at lowest ebb since war of 1812 as Queen joins anti-trump...

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Anglo US relations have reached their lowest ebb since 1812 when British Force burned down the White House after members of the Royal Family...

Further scandal as so called satirical page Southend News Network owners aren’t even Southern!

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In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets

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Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...

Met office issue ice warning in winter

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As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...

Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead

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A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished. This includes being subjected to death...

Tories announce mass culling of Wombles

Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...
Electric Shock

Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss

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The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Corbyn

Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...

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The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry. He told the press...

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