Corbyn denies ‘pineapple on pizza’ allegations during lunch with genocide denier

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Jeremy Corbyn today strenuously denied having pineapple on the pizza he shared with Assad Supporting, Genocide Denier and all around Russian puppet Marcus Papadopoulos....
White Van

White van man smashes World Land Speed Record

A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van. The news that Jamie...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

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People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Brexit Bus

Key Brexit aim amended from ‘extra 350m a week to spend’ to ‘not many...

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The new Brexit Secretary, Jeremy Rees-Gove has told hard-line Brexiteers to downplay their expectations. "It's become clear that writing something on the side of a...

Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film

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Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

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The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
unhappy man

I just want things to be the colour they were before, admits Brexiteer

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Icon, n. A person or thing regarded as a representative symbol "'Back and Blue - Brits will get their iconic dark blue passports back after...
Afro

Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott

Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot. Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...
William and Kate

Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...

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Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...
Dog

There’s way more to choosing where to poo than you realise Dog tells owner

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"There's way more to choosing where to poo than you realise" Bobby, a 5 year old Chocolate Lab from York has told The Rochdale...
Amber Rudd

I’m glad she can spend more time with family, says deported Brit who won’t...

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Amber Rudd has resigned as Home Secretary, saying she "inadvertently misled" MPs over which policies of her predecessor, Theresa May, she was continuing to...

We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...

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Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing. Business...
theresa nay laughing

Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...

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Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

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The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...

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