Killer Ian Brady’s ashes shot into space, by most expensive means possible and paid...
Reports have been across all of the mainstream press today regarding the Moors murderer, Ian Brady’s remains being buried at sea.
A shock report...
Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes
Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes.
Mr...
Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers.
Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...
Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views.
Cal Low, who...
Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris is Foreign Secretary
In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
McDonald’s launches monster fatburger
Lard-loving fast food fanatics McDonald's made the announcement immediately following the news that London's sewers have been blocked by vast deposits of insoluble grease.
The...
Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking.
12...
Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole
An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole.
Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...
You moved a little bit so obviously that means we’re going for a walk,...
A family pet in North Yorkshire has jumped to the conclusion that he is about to go for a walk after his owner crossed...
Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Oxfam scandal proves we have moral high-ground say selfish, tight bastards
Dreadful arseholes everywhere have applauded Oxfam staff for providing them with their latest bout of self-justification.
Graham Ruddington, 47, who has both used and supplied...
Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage
Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”
Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
