May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle
Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
Conservatives offer new members discount card at Kentucky Fried Pheasant
Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
Rail fares rise takes taking the piss further
The average price of standing between a handful of sweaty commuters whilst the will to live is squeezed out of you is to rise by around 2.3%. Again.
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
UKIP elects Diane James leader
Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage.
People outside of...
Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...
Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...
Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident
The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam
The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Anti-peerage remoaner experiences Damascene Conversion on House of Lords
Longtime liberal anti-peerage system remoaner Steve Dickinson has experienced a miraculous Road to Damascus Moment.
For years local libtard Steve Dickinson has posted memes about...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.
It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed...
