Prince Philip

Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder

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The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package. The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Angry man

Racists are pussies

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We've all seen the stories. Hate crime has risen exponentially since some of the country voted to leave the EU. We decided to talk...
Scientists

Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea

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A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea. Clarence Tetley,...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Fears 40% of millenials may never have tedious home improvement conversations

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There are fears that up to 40% of millennials may never be able to have tedious home improvement conversations. Fewer and fewer people are able...
Depressed business man at his desk

Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news

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The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt. "A...

Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend

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A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...

Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas

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A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift. 16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...
Mrs Brown's Boys

Anne Frank’s diary found to contain script for pilot episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys

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The wartime diary of Anne Frank has been found to contain a script for the pilot episode of Mrs. Brown's Boys. Recent imaging analysis of...
Teabag

Teabag enters second month on little plate by kettle

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of...

Russian Government says it asked Arron Banks to organise a trip to Salisbury Cathedral

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Arron Banks has said that he only spoke to Russian Government officials because they had asked him to organise a tour of Salisbury Cathedral....
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...

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