Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

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A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving

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The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Confused iPhone

Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes

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International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...

Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...

A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...

Man left alone for the weekend yet to put his trousers on

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A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned. Thomas Thomas of...

City banker in sponsored sleep out confident he understands homelessness

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You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility After taking...

We have no shares in Amazon as Yodel are delivering them, says Justin Welby

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Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...
Brexit Bus

Key Brexit aim amended from ‘extra 350m a week to spend’ to ‘not many...

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The new Brexit Secretary, Jeremy Rees-Gove has told hard-line Brexiteers to downplay their expectations. "It's become clear that writing something on the side of a...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...

Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents

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Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think...

You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
Prime Minister

Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory

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Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need...

Northern Expert finds London still full of wankers

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Professor Emeritus of Southern Studies at the University of Leeds, Joe Roots, confirmed in his opening lecture of the 2017/18 academic term that: “London is...

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