Be nice to Meghan or we will end up with an old boot –...
The British Press had better be nice to Prince Harry's new girlfriend Meghan Markle or we could end up with "a bat-shit crazy old...
Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine.
"Donald Trump...
Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...
The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...
Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result.
A staggering...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
Potholes are going to be our next victims, confirms government
A source within the Conservative Party has confirmed today that they plan to murder all of the potholes in the country should they win...
We demand the tooth!
Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist.
After...
Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022.
Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...
Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion
Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion.
This has predictably stirred up...
Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home
Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification.
"I have agreed...
Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...
Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.
Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government.
Over this...
14000 airbus job losses and 3.8 million settled migrants was on the other bus...
Brexiteers have been scrambling around attempting to tell everyone that 14,000 job losses at Airbus and 3.8 million settled migrants was on a completely...
Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt
The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace.
According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Leamington to become post Brexit English capital
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
