Satire Aid

The Big Fat Secret Santa – Satire Aid 2018

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You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

Britain warned Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phatom Menace

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Britain has been warned that Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. The warning comes a week after the Government...
Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

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With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

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Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...
Gym

Gyms too fucking busy, confirm everybody

Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.  It was standing room only in every single...
KFC

KFC announce they’ve run out of ice

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First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes. Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've...

Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...

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The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan...

Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage

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In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

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Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...

Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed

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Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed. "Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...

Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend

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The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...

People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts

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Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...

Vegans & Fruitarians to settle differences with pissing contest in Co-op car park

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Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...
Royal Mail

Royal Mail agrees to launch new £6 first class Brexit stamp

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The Royal Mail have announced a special stamp to commemorate Brexit today. The stamp will be a first class stamp and cost £6. The Daily...

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