Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco

0
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves. At...

Government pressed on exit strategy for NHS clapping

0
Labour leader Keir Starmer has urged the Government to publish its exit strategy this week, as he warns that the "silent pressures on families...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...

0
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...

Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories

0
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories. Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...

Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day

0
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio. Parent and washed...

Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt

0
The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace. According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...
Angry

People angry about Hillsborough weren’t even victims

13
Like a crowd of Paul Nuttalls, they press forward into the comments section, STOP, STOP writing right there. “The timing is appalling, how dare you...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

0
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...

Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush

A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Purse

Wonga to rebrand as Universal Credit Day Loans

0
The Autumn Budget 2017 announced changes to Universal Credit, merging the government's flagship benefits payment scheme with short-term high-cost credit provider Wonga. Mr B.Starde a...
Geese

New £50 note to be made of foie gras

0
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...

SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

0
It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...
Lazy Cat

Catlike powers wasted on cats

According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats. Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

0
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts