Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People
Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Revealed: your top 5 favourite ways to explain Corbyn losing a general election to...
Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost...
Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma.
What has...
Rochdale Herald Reporter groomed in ‘Muslim No-Go Area’.
Our South Yorkshire correspondent Sebastian Wiesel recounts his experience of yesterday morning.
"I was walking round Sheffield antiques quarter this morning, looking for a place...
Conspiracy theorists disappointed to learn nobody is in charge
Two Rochdale conspiracy theorists have been telling the Herald that they've come to the conclusion that nobody is in charge.
The pair, known only as...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit
“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder
The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package.
The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Emergency services respond to man with spade in head
Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries.
The man's wife called 999 after her...
Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...
Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...
Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...
Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag
Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
