National News

Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the invasion of Iraq and has recommended stringent action be taken...

  UKIP and the Corbynista wing of the Labour Party have reached a landmark agreement to prevent social media posts by their respective trolls and sock puppets from being confused. From now on, the two sides announced in...

Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to the near-nuking of the US last year. So what were these...

Breakthrough for influential alt-gay movement as the legendary Ruth Hunt, CEO of Stonewall, personally announced the plan to address the concerns that alt-gays were insufficiently recognised at Pride marches. She said: “You might think I would...

The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden Travelodge this afternoon. Twatbasketry, a noun, is defined as 'Pertaining to...

People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when a Rochdale man was surprised to find when filling out...

UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has been flogged over the mix up in traditional UKIP rough...

The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk. An embassy employee said, "He's a nightmare. He started on a crate of Pilsener...

Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days after she publicly denigrated the plaid and corduroy socialist. "Obviously I...

We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the country to run better by itself. "Et jus' don't werk" said...

In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out of the EU. "Almost a majority of the British voting public...

The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced. Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had been completely successful. "We removed the old duke during a four...

Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded it is still technically February 2016. "It looks like The British...

Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a massive puddle in Rochdale Donald, a duck, told The Rochdale...

The announcement made at an event in central London. Mayor Sadiq Khan came onto stage to the strains of Queen's Bicycle Race to unveil the initiative. Unfortunately, the planned demonstration (alas, no naked women...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...