Queen undergoes Duke of Edinburgh replacement operation
The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced.
Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had...
Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.
With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit
“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks
Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather.
Speaking from the middle of a...
New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed.
Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...
London to trial riderless bikes in 2018
The announcement made at an event in central London. Mayor Sadiq Khan came onto stage to the strains of Queen's Bicycle Race to unveil...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Calling bullies bullies is bullying say bullies
Support groups representing bullies are calling for the term bully to be banned.
They claim it is a negative and pejorative phrase and leaves...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam
The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Badger fed up with receiving ‘Bristle-enhancing Pills’ emails
Brock Hampstead, a male badger from the New Forest, has started a campaign targeting what he claims is speciesist profiling by advertisers.
"I know that...
RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...
In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...
