Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...
UKIP

UKIP suspends member for reading a book

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A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list. The list, which includes...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Theresa May

Maggie May announces snap election

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Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. "Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...

Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter

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The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons. The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...
Nigel Farage

If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...

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Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel Farage denies any links to Russia

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

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Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...
NewsThump

Scandal as NewsThump admits to making stuff up

A scandal is breaking in the media industry with allegations of editorial impropriety at NewsThump, one of the world's most trusted online news sources. Trusted by...
Daily Mail Readers

Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person

22
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

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Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...
Hull

Ruins of city unearthed by earthquake “just Hull” archaeologists told

Excitement in the archaeological world this weekend turned to bitter disappointment after archaeologists discovered the ruins of a primitive civilisation on the Yorkshire cost...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

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The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...

Corbyn denies ‘pineapple on pizza’ allegations during lunch with genocide denier

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Jeremy Corbyn today strenuously denied having pineapple on the pizza he shared with Assad Supporting, Genocide Denier and all around Russian puppet Marcus Papadopoulos....
Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

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The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...

Julian Assange makes the most of the hot weather by opening a window

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Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open. The...

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