Casual racism is set to become a thing of the past under new Prime Minister Theresa May.
Shoe-obsessed Theresa May has announced plans to eradicate and criminalise half-hearted, jokey racism and replace it with fully fledged hatred and bigotry.
The new PM allegedly claimed;
“It’s all well and good calling these darkies piccaninnies or nig-nogs without actually stating that you hate them because of your own low self esteem and feelings of inadequacy, but if we’re going to make Britain great again then we have to use overtly racist termsagain.”
The incoming despot is believed to hate anyone who isn’t Caucasian and earns less than £150,000 a year (as well as disabled people, students, the elderly, and those despicable enough to have a spare bedroom on their rented property). It is likely she will persecute a wide range of people during her time in office, but dark skinned folk and, indeed, anyone who isn’t ‘White British’ are said to be at the top of her agenda when it comes to discrimination.
It is claimed that, in her first meeting as leader, May announced, “I voted remain for my own selfishly political reasons but, if there’s one thing brexit achieved, it was to legitimise open and aggressive acts of racism – this will be the cornerstone of all government policy from this day forth.”
Harsh punishments for citizens refusing to toe the line are expected to be announced by the end of the week, with possible jail sentences imposed upon those who fail to comply; racists will no longer even have to start sentences with the words ‘I’m not racist but’, under new guidelines.
It is understood that the BBC will have to reintroduce black & white minstrel shows, along with an agreed quota of racist sitcoms, in order to maintain it’s right to charge for a TV licence.
This will help to ‘re-normalise’ racism and ‘shut these moaning lefties up once and for all’, according to a government source.