Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

1
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...
Tim Farron

Tim Farron forced to hand over lunch money during visit to primary school

0
Tim Farron has today visited a primary school in Bacup in an effort to convince voters that the Lib Dems absolutely, cross their hearts hope...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...

Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco

0
Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

0
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson feared dead?

3
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...

Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...

The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.

British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...

0
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...

Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle

0
The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

0
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...
Paul Nuttall

Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.

0
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday. Sir Paul was the first man to...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

0
Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...

White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter

0
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been...

Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage

0
In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Snapchat

Ransomware means government absolutely definitley needs to read your Snapchat

0
The recent ransomware attack on the NHS and many others across the world definitely means that GCHQ need to read your email, announced...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts