Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time.
Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
Morning is the best time of the day, confirm detestable bastards
People who are utter and complete bastards have confirmed that morning is the best time of the day.
Groundbreaking research by researchers at the Institute...
Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors
As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...
There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men
Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
CRISIS as supermarkets RUN OUT of fancy tonic forcing MIDDLE CLASS to drink OWN...
The sunny weather forecast for the bank holiday weekend has led to panic buying of certain summer essentials. There have been reports of chronic...
Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...
The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.
Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...
Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red.
Whilst most people south of...
Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way.
Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act.
The tech boffin was asked...
