Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

0
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test

0
Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.  A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

0
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

0
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

0
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...

Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...

0
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England.  The...
Rees Mogg

Food bank staff find donation of Rees-Mogg voodoo dolls and pins ‘really rather uplifting’

29
Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in...
Teenage Pregnancy

Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19

0
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...

Cummings reveals he was attending Durham Pizza Express

0
Dominic Cummings has dramatically revealed that he was visiting Durham's Pizza Express on the advice of Prince Andrew. In a televised interview Cummings said, "I...
hiker

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.

Man with plan to carpe the absolute diem out of today now on his...

13
A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work. Trevor...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update

0
Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...

Power vacuum at the top of British politics sponsored by Dyson

0
Into the breach steps the face that launched a thousand suckers, James Dyson. He wants the country to shake the dust off its feet...
Farage

Please stop comparing me to Hitler pleads bloke who just gave speech to German...

0
A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking...
Congratulations

Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day

In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...

We didn’t hack Paul Nuttall claims hacker group Anonymous

0
"We didn't hack Paul Nuttall" claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts