What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women
Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads.
One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...
Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...
A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes
Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes.
Mr...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Daily Mail fury as NO MIGRANTS are going to be killed as a result...
The Mail and the Express allege that the silence of the clangs is meant to be a mark of respect timed to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana's death.
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update
Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Man falls to death after Christmas party gets out of hand
A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected
The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.
A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
