Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

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Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...

New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.

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Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...

Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock

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Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...
Wrapping Presents

I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths

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Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...

Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike

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Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada. His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...

Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours

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Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...

Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement

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Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland. Although the pair often claim to support gay...

Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode

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The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt. The, ironically...
Queen

Queen shocked to discover she’s invested in Los Pollos Hermanos

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The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV...

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