Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Elmer Fudd

Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary

The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said. Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
Farage

Please stop comparing me to Hitler pleads bloke who just gave speech to German...

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A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking...

Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...

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Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless

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Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
theresa nay laughing

Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...

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Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...
Paul Nuttall

Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.

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Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday. Sir Paul was the first man to...

Rochdale family whose Ryanair flight has been cancelled yet to notice difference in service

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A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald...

Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours

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Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

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