Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
The Queen

Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew

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Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women

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Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...

Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...

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Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...

You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

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Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...
Meghan and Harry

Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...

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As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.  The...
Love

You don’t know what love is ’til you hold your baby for the first...

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Forget looking into your bride's eyes on your wedding day, you don't know what love is until you become a parent and hold your...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

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Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...

Fears for local man missing in Ikea

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Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...

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