To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate

Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things. Again. After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

0
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...

Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

0
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

0
Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

4
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...

Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...

Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit

0
Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

0
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

0
Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...
Nuclear explosion

A year in review because I don’t know if we’ll still be here in...

0
If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of...

Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation

0
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez. As the son of a...

Cute dog is a savage little shit

A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

0
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

0
A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts