?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

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Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

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Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...

People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...

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The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Wearing Poppy

Daily Express readers to mark start of Poppygeddon with mass execution of celebrities not...

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6 lucky Daily Express readers will mark the launch of the Royal British Legions poppy appeal by machine gunning celebrities caught not wearing poppies...

Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

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Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

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More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

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We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

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A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Idiots declare ‘It’s officially Christmas!’ following annual sugar water advert

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The popular Coca Cola advert which includes trucks and or polar bears has aired on UK television again tonight as it does every year. Millions...

Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police

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In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...
Wrapping Presents

I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths

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Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...

Fears sugar tax could mean bottom falls out of mobility scooter market

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The British mobility scooter industry has warned that it could see a huge drop in production of mobility scooters following the introduction of the...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...

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