National News

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle anyway. The announcement came...

A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the week. In the statement, which was shared with The Rochdale Herald,...

Britons who travelled to Syria to fight for the so-called Islamic State will be welcomed back into the country with a FREE roast dinner at Buckingham Palace, the Herald has learned. The controversial proposal is...

Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily Telegraph claiming that Manchester students were being told to 'do...

The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.

In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme in order to combat the CO2 shortage. One over-promoted Government Minister...

Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of souls. His Royal Highness had been admitted to King Edward VII...

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips, Professor of Hot Beverages at the University's world famous Brew...

The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime minister Theresa May have suggested. The sources confirmed that the government,...

Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for singing to the Queen. The 46 year old, whose other good...

Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with two women holding hands. How am I supposed to know...

As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are set to release their 2004 hit 'I Predict a Riot'. The...

Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to be a military veteran by wearing medals they have not...

Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual mass panic as snow flakes have been spotted all over...

Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the capital will offer a free kick in the knackers with...