BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars faulty drivers.

The German car giant said it was recalling 312,000 vehicles, including the 1 series, the 3 series, the Z4 and all the X1 petrol and diesel models made between March 2007 and September 2011 because they were all being driven by “utter bellends.”

BMW had initially recalled 36,410 petrol cars in April 2017 over suspicions that the indicators didn’t work.

An investigation by The Rochdale Herald revealed that the problem is that BMW drivers don’t seem to believe they need to use them.

BMW said: “We now recognise there may been some cases of electrical problems in some of our vehicles causing the indicators not to work. Given than not one single BMW driver has used an indicator when driving on a UK road how on earth were we supposed to know that.”

“In the interests of the safety of the public we have removed 300,000 drivers from BMWs. If you do see one on the road we advise that you steer clear.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.